From Eating Disorders to Empowerment: A Journey of Mindful Eating and Healthy Lifestyle Choices

Have you ever felt trapped by the societal pressures of body image and dieting, wondering if true happiness can exist beyond the scale? Join host Heather Carey in this enlightening episode of Real Food Stories as she sits down with life coach Rachel Boehm, who specializes in empowering women to reclaim their self-worth, especially those who feel single despite their relationship status. Together, they delve into the complex world of eating disorders and the emotional connections we have with food, shedding light on how these issues often stem from childhood experiences and societal expectations.

Rachel opens up about her personal journey through disordered eating, revealing how the relentless mantra of ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’ can lead to unhealthy behaviors and distorted food beliefs. As they navigate the intricate landscape of women’s health, Heather and Rachel emphasize the importance of awareness and intentionality in our eating habits. They challenge listeners to redefine their relationships with food by ditching the ‘shoulds’ and embracing self-care and personal growth.

Throughout this conversation, you’ll discover valuable nutrition advice and healthy eating tips that can help you cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling life, free from the extremes of dieting and the pressures of societal norms. Rachel and Heather explore the significance of asking deeper questions to uncover the true motivations behind goals like weight loss, while also addressing the myths surrounding dieting and the impact of family food influences on our choices.

Listeners will find inspiration in Rachel’s insights on mindful eating practices and the importance of nurturing a positive body image, especially during midlife and menopause. By embracing the seven pillars of abundance, you can foster a healthier lifestyle that resonates with your personal food journey and aligns with your values. Whether you’re navigating perimenopause nutrition or simply seeking to overcome food confusion, and even eating disorders, this episode is packed with culinary wellness tips and heartfelt stories that empower women to take control of their health.

Join us for this transformative discussion that not only highlights the challenges associated with eating disorders but also celebrates the journey towards self-acceptance and body positivity. Tune in and learn how to empower your menopause journey, embrace sustainable eating, and cultivate a life filled with joy and nourishment.

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Transcript:

Speaker #0
Well, hello, everybody, and welcome back. And if you are just tuning in with me for the very first time, it’s so nice to meet you. And I’m really glad you’re here with me today. I am your host, Heather Carey, nutritionist, chef, mom, and a woman who has been around the block with food. I want to open up about real food in relation to health, weight, and our bodies so you can make peace with what you eat. Welcome back, everybody. It’s Heather. I wanted to introduce to you today Rachel Boehm, who is a dynamic life coach specializing in working with women who are single. Now, even if you are not single in the obvious sense, you may feel like you are living a single lifestyle, and that might mean Your marriage is a little separated. You are shouldering all of the responsibility in your house, whatever it may feel like to you. If this resonates with you, this can be worth a listen. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels was her mantra growing up. And the message is that skinny was better. So we talk about that, and that rolls into a lot of talk about how women… are shooting on themselves. I should be doing this. I should be doing that. The pressure that we put on ourselves and that leads into a lot of burnout. So I really encourage you to take a listen to this very encouraging conversation I had with Rachel and learn to hone in on your goals so you can feel really great about living life. I’m here with Rachel. BAME today. And Rachel is a nationally board certified health and wellness coach and a PhD candidate in psychology studying psychological well-being. On the one-on-one side, Rachel works primarily with single women who want to stop shitting on themselves, ditch imposter syndrome, boost confidence, and kick ass personally and professionally at the same time. Rachel also works with business professionals, helping them become their best selves so they can live life on their terms and helps leaders build organizations that people don’t want to leave. She does all of this through personalized coaching and employee well-being, consulting using science-backed and people-proven methods. So welcome, Rachel.

Speaker #1
Thank you, Heather. I’m excited to be here.

Speaker #0
Great. So I know that you have. a dual business, right? You work with women and you also work with corporations. Let’s focus first just on your work with women. So you shared with me a bit of your story that you overcame an eating disorder that started as a quote, healthy diet and weight loss program, which influenced the work you do with clients to help them thrive in all of their areas of life, including their relationship. with food and their bodies. So why don’t we just start off with that? Just tell me your story around food and how it evolved into a eating disorder.

Speaker #1
Yeah. So in a nutshell, I think we’ll start with the first experience, but I won’t take everybody through play by play if they want that they can get my book, but I don’t think that’s why people are tuning into your podcast is to hear my life story. But Stein, I distinctly remember So that for me, that was third grade. And two, we were just starting into that, like, who’s popular, who’s not era of our lives. And two peers, two women told me that the reason I couldn’t be friends with them anymore because we were friends in second grade and now we weren’t friends in third grade. And it’s like day one of school was because I was fat. And that was my first encounter with that word. I did not know what it meant. I just knew clearly it was bad. It was wrong. And that I was, um, and so that set off, um, decades of trying to not be fat because, you know, also people should know. So I’m 41. So that means like nine, I was, I’m a nineties girl, right? So it was heroin chic. It was, you know, there’s no such thing as too thinny and too fit or too skinny and nothing good, nothing tastes as good as thin feels and fat is bad, carbs are good and the food is bad and the, you know, all of the things. And everything I did, and I feel this is so true for maybe everyone, but everything I did was not because I… like didn’t like myself and wanted to harm myself or wanted to, you know, like purposefully starve or, or, or, you know, whatever it was, I was trying to be healthy.

Speaker #0
I was trying to be what I thought I should be,

Speaker #1
you know? Um, you’re told, oh, if you, if you look like this, you’re healthy. If you look like that, you’re not, if you look like this, you know, you’re going to get the career, the guy, the part I was in acting in theater and film and television and all of those things. music for a long time. And that certainly is very much, um, at least at the time your success is predicated on your looks in a large part. I was just to say, I even, I had one job, um, where I worked and hindsight, probably not the best idea, but it made sense at the time. Um, I worked for a few months at this local, um, like kind of weight loss program, weight loss support called the diet center. And, um, I probably shouldn’t have said their name, but anyways, I did. And my boss at the time asked me, so this was going into senior year, asked me what I wanted to do, like what I wanted to study in college. And I said, oh, you know, I’m in musical theater. Like, that’s all I do. That’s what I love. That’s what I’m told I’m good at. You know, all of these things. I was studying film and television. And she just said, don’t you have to be skinny for that? And I just said, I’m trying. I didn’t have any other words, you know, and I held it together for the rest of my shift. And I just sat in my car as I left and just cried. And so fast forward, you know, the advice at the time was what every, you know, health magazine, again, this is the 90s, early 2000s. We don’t have what we have now. And I’m not necessarily sure that what we have now is that much better because it depends on who you’re feeling, what your influence is.

Speaker #0
are.

Speaker #1
But all I had was, yeah, lose weight, eat this, not that, and work out three sets of 12. That’s like the guidance for women, like sets of eight to 12, three times, three a week and like go run. And so in this quest for like, that’s not work. Like, what do I do? Okay. That’s not working. What do I do? That’s not working. What do I do? That’s not working. Finally, a program started to work. Partly because it worked and partly because I was really finally ready to actually do the work as opposed to just wanting it to have happened. So when I really dedicated to doing the work, I did start losing the weight. I did get to a healthy weight and then I took it too far because I had the influence of the industry. And the thinner I got, the more I got. And so finally I realized this is. This is not okay. There’s something wrong. And it took even longer to realize what that was.

Speaker #0
So it sounds like you are not alone. You got very influenced by just the messages of the time, which we all did, right?

Speaker #1
I mean,

Speaker #0
thinner being skinnier was better.

Speaker #1
Right.

Speaker #0
And it sometimes falls under the umbrella of like, well, it’s healthier, but it’s also better to get. a man or better to win an acting career or all sorts of advantages to being really thin. And we all know that that’s not necessarily the case, but it is certainly the driver for so many women.

Speaker #1
Yeah. And the literature shows that dieting more often than not leads to unhealthy behaviors. Right. And so, and I’m not saying that everybody that starts a diet, you know, ends up eating disorder, but it’s not what I’m saying. But what I’m saying is that there is a huge risk there for not only like, you know, the hashtag diets fail, right? Like, but they don’t work, you yo-yo, but that they can support your relationship with food in a negative way. Right. So now you don’t see an apple, you see 80 calories, You see this many macros. You see this many. points. You see this many, whatever you’re counting. And for some people tracking and counting is great. It’s, it’s just who, who it’s not just the tool, right? It’s who’s using it and in what way and all of that. So I don’t want to just beat and bash the tools, but, but there’s a risk there.

Speaker #0
Right. I mean, dieting, I think just gets you, at least for my clients, dieting gets you into a cycle that you almost can’t get out of because you are either on the diet or you are off the diet. You don’t know how to eat after a while or you’re dieting and losing weight. It’s unsustainable because who can sustain something like so restrictive? Then you go. off the diet and you gain weight back and then you have to go and then you feel bad for yourself and you feel you know like what’s what am I doing wrong and then you go back on the diet and it’s just a whirlwind of this yo-yo and up and down kind of thing and can it lead to eating disorders absolutely absolutely I mean I have a lot of women I think who are even older than you you know who are still just battling with that and I think it’s it there’s there is definitely eating disorders hidden underneath that. Because they don’t know how to eat. And it’s a control thing. You know, being on a diet is like, you can be in control.

Speaker #1
Yeah. And it’s like, if nothing else, I can control this. And I think that was part of it, too. And so when I, when I went to therapy, you know, one of the things that my therapist said was, so what I’m hearing you say is that you feel safe. And no one had light bulb moment. Because when I first. first and I talked about this in my book too but like when I first like went to therapy I was like it’s about the food it’s just about the food like that’s all I thought was like it’s about my relationship with food right um I didn’t know like where I was on the disordered eating continuum and I’m sure you’ve talked with your clients about that and I think it’s for everyone to know it’s not like you’re either an eating disorder person or you’re not it’s like there’s a continuum that like at some point, you know, then you’re clinical, but. I think that was part of my problem too, is when we talk about, say, for example, anorexia, those images, I didn’t see myself in that image because all we see is somebody who’s like 50 pounds or whatever.

Speaker #0
Exactly.

Speaker #1
We don’t see the person who’s looks like they’re in a healthy weight. They’re able to work out, you know, they’re not like in a, in a facility, right. We don’t see the person that looks like our best friend on the street. That’s part of the problem.

Speaker #0
Yes. That is a huge part of the problem, I think. It sounds like you recognize something that when you, this control over food, this like obsession with food, right?

Speaker #1
It’s a safety mechanism. And so when I learned to start, like, I was about to say controlling that, when we started learning how to be okay with, with feeling, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I can trust myself, right? My favorite saying even now is from Susan Jeffers and it’s whatever happens, I’ll handle it. When you can learn to do that. And like, it’s okay. You know, you can just learn to like be uncomfortable with uncomfortability.

Speaker #0
Yes, exactly. And I think even more importantly, just being uncomfortable with not doing it perfectly, not eating perfectly all the time, maybe enjoying food, you know, maybe just saying screw it for today, or I’m on vacation and, you know, and knowing, knowing that you can just get yourself back on track. but you’re not going to like blow everything. Yeah. Combust and, you know, and bail. And so when do you feel that you had sort of a turning point? Was it, was it going to therapy? Was it, was it something else that happened with you?

Speaker #1
Yeah. I mean, I, so I have this, this kind of realization it’s, it was like studying and then fast as, as things always are. right? It’s like the seeds are planted and then suddenly it’s like, wow, yeah, I’m actually ready to do something about this. And so, so that, that kind of aha was, was there and then therapy. And then years later, it was years later when I decided to switch careers again and, and move more into the health wellness space. And, you know, long story short, the reason I decided to build a coaching practice is because I wanted to be the resource for people that I didn’t have. And the more I learned about not just myself, but through professional development, through courses was it’s all life. It’s, it’s not just the food, right. As we were talking about, it’s, it’s your sense of it’s what is the food meaning to you? Or what is the control of that food meaning, right? Is it, if your sleep affects your cravings, which affects your anxiety, which affects you, like, are you going to go? get that calmness from quick, like walk outside the block or just some like sunlight exposure, or are you going to get it from the bag of Oreos, right? Like, you know, your stress, your sleep, you know, what you… what your culture is, you know, everything affects everything else. And so it was really important to me to build this kind of integrated coaching practice where we do look at everything.

Speaker #0
Right. It isn’t just about the food, but some people like I grew up, for example, like food was love, you know, like you’re having a bad day. Let’s go to the candy store. Like you’re having to be like, let’s have a cookie. It’s yeah. So there’s a huge association for me to write like I’m in discomfort. I’m tired. You know, like, let’s, let’s do that with food. And there are other ways to do that. And other tools that you can develop. And it sounds like that’s what you do with your clients. Because there’s, right, it’s not just all about the food, but some people then write just it. For some people, it is about, you know, they do lean back on food in a variety of different ways.

Speaker #1
Well, I think it’s the most important thing is building that awareness. because I don’t, you know, I don’t want someone to go, oh, I don’t want to work with, with somebody like that because, you know, don’t you dare take my, I don’t know, my, my glass of wine or my like, you know, frozen yogurt tree. Like it’s not about saying like, those are bad and you can’t have them. And it’s right. You know, it’s about saying like, Hey, FYI, like becoming aware of like, oh, this is how I use this. This is why I want this so that you can make that decision more rationally. and know like okay if I’m going to do it cool I’m going to account for it in some other way or do I really want that yeah today actually that is my treat I am choosing that with intention and then the next time it’s like actually I kind of just crave it because I’m used to craving it maybe instead I’m going to treat myself with coffee with friends or walk them apart and so it’s just really building awareness and attention intentionality yeah I think awareness is Thank you.

Speaker #0
Absolutely the first key step, because you can walk around just eating mindlessly, you know, with without any awareness of what you are doing. It’s like when you have an association that every night at nine o’clock, your reward is I’m going to go sit down in front of that TV. And yeah, with a half gallon of ice cream. I mean, you can do that without even thinking twice about it. It’s just like, you know, like it. And I think that to build awareness skills. So you can do things with intention. Even if you do sit down and have the ice cream, just know that you are doing it and then give yourself permission to do it. But I think the awareness and like having like a pause, is this really what I wanna be doing right now? I mean, that’s how I, at least how I work with my clients is just, yeah, awareness is key because we can be very, very mindless eaters. And I think the mindfulness is everything. When it comes to, you know, just healthy eating and just in eating with intention. Tell me a little bit more about who you work with. I know you said that you work mostly with single women. Is there a reason behind working with single women versus just all women? Yeah,

Speaker #1
no, I really appreciate that you asked that question because it was really hard for me to make that decision. And I should preface by saying, you know, I do have clients that are married. So it’s not, it. It’s not like a hard and fast, but it’s one I kind of observed that there was one type of person in particular that was kind of drawn towards me and that we really had a solid coaching relationship with. And it’s really that person that feels single more than is like demographically like, yes, I am. So it’s and by feel, I mean, maybe they’re married. Maybe even the relationship is awesome, but because of who they are as a person. It’s all on them. They, they’re, you know, they’re the ones that are like, I got it all. Like do this and do this and this, like, what are you talking about? They’re the driven kind of stereotypical type A. So maybe they’re single. And so then like, yes, it is all more than the person that’s like, I don’t ask for help. Like you’re going to do it wrong. I need to prove myself. Or if I let go, I have all these balls spinning. So if I let go of one, I’m going to drop them all. So I just need to do it.

Speaker #0
Yeah.

Speaker #1
Or they feel alone in their relationship and they would love that support, but they don’t feel like they’re going to get it. And so that’s why it’s on. And so, you know, I’ve had gentlemen come to me and it’s a good fit and we work together. Like I said, I have married people, unmarried people, divorced. If it’s a good fit, it’s a good fit. But in terms of, you know, when my marketing hat is on as a business owner, that’s kind of the content I put out of the type of event. Some women do shoulder so much that they do feel like they are single, that they are carrying the weight of the world,

Speaker #0
right? I mean, they’re carrying everything. They’re running their households. They’re raising the kids. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. I think that’s a really important thing. They’re getting dinner on the table. They’re doing all of that. And so they are almost like in a single relationship with their responsibility. And I know that you said that you want to get women to stop shooting all over themselves, which is reminding me when you said, you know, like some women might be in relationships, but they are feeling like they are like a single woman carrying all of this. And I think that goes along with like, you know. maybe how we were raised. I should be, I should be working, raising the kids. I get dinner on the table. I run the household, right? I mean, that’s, that’s how I think of shoulds, you know, or I’m just really happy doing it all too.

Speaker #1
Exactly. Yeah. This is, this is what I’m told I should want. So shouldn’t I want this? And this is what I thought I wanted. Why am I not happy? And I should also, you know, the, the take needs to be Pinterest first. perfect and the suit needs to be you know all of the shoulds all of the labels all the things that we’re told we’re supposed to want that we even thought we wanted and now like oh shit but like don’t let anybody see this questioning because I should you know and the thing is I think very few people are talking about this now there are a lot of people talking about kind of quote work my fowl lines, which is one of my least favorite terms. more because it’s all life not because they don’t believe in balance um i think it’s you know personal professional like work and not work but anyways that’s another hill to die on um yeah i know what you mean though i think i can’t stand that crazy either work like what does that mean like work-life balance well

Speaker #0
it goes along it goes into that should i should feel like i can juggle this and do this and like my life is complete and i have i know i agree with you it just yeah

Speaker #1
Certainly those messages out there, right? The work-life stuff, but it’s still, unfortunately, it’s synonymous with family-friendly, and that leaves a lot of people out, right? So that leaves out married people that have no kids, the dinks, right, dual-income, no kids. It leaves out single-income married, no kids. It leaves out singles that do not have children or a partner. And so it… And this is, you know, venturing towards the corporate side, but that’s another reason why I wanted to work with singles because I’ve been single most of my life. And I have experienced a lot of it too, right? Where it’s like, and every Hallmark movie shows it. Every Christmas Hallmark movie shows it, right? Like, oh, poor, poor person, totally single, maybe with a cat. And then it’s kind of saved at the end. by the farmer and shining flannel, I don’t know. Right. And then she has work-life balance because she doesn’t live in corporate America anymore. But yeah, so that was another reason to your question about why singles is that I just felt like people weren’t really serving.

Speaker #0
Yeah, I can definitely see that, that there must be, you know, you’re single and so you should be wanting to… find a husband or a wife or a partner. You should want to have children.

Speaker #1
You should be willing to stay late at work and cover for the people that have to leave for their kids.

Speaker #0
Right. Not being flexible with your time. Right. I mean,

Speaker #1
you have time to do. Yeah. Right.

Speaker #0
When women are like shutting all over themselves, what are some of the key things that you tell them? How do you redirect their thinking around this.

Speaker #1
Yeah. I mean, I think it’s so, you know, in the details, like if we were to, I won’t get nitty gritty, right. Cause that’s, I’m sure like with you, right. But this starts to become very personalized to the client and the patient, but it’s asking powerful questions and being honest. And the thing with coaching, if people aren’t familiar, it’s not like a consultant where the consultant’s like, Hmm, here’s the problem. Here’s what you’re going to do. Here’s how you fix it. Here’s the plan. It’s. honoring the client’s autonomy. So every client is an expert in their own life. There’s just a lot of noise, right? I liken it to hiking in a forest, like with a lot of fog and you really just need someone to help you clear the fog, you know, double check the compass, maybe give you a few more tools and then just kind of like walk with you on the way so you can find a way back to your car and get home.

Speaker #0
Right.

Speaker #1
Um, just to beat that analogy down. So with a client it’s asking it’s motivational interviewing it’s asking well why why is that important to you Why do you feel like that is important to you? And I love the five wise questions or exercise because it peels that back for people.

Speaker #0
Can you share that?

Speaker #1
Yeah. Yeah. So say, for example, I’m trying to think of a, for instance, but so say, for example, somebody is like, well, I want to lose weight. That’s a potentially awesome goal. I don’t know. That’s a very unfearned goal. Right. So, because you could go down the, like. oh, well, why and by how much and by when? But first I would say, why is that important to you? And they might say, oh, because I’m not going to go down the rabbit hole of like, oh, I have a reunion. Right. But like, you know, oh, I, I don’t know. Like, I just, I want to fit into the summer clothes. You know, I had this dress in my closet and I just, I really thought I still fit into it. And I don’t like, oh, okay. Like, what is it about that dress? Like, what is it about fitting into the summer clothes that that excites you or is important to you? Well, you know, and so you, you kind of asked and you don’t always have to ask it five times as people reveal when they reveal, but basically by the fifth, why you’ve gotten down to not that the goal is I want to lose weight, but the goal is I want to feel confident in my body again. I don’t recognize who I am or I’ve got a role model for my kids. Right. So you can say the thing, like, why do you, why is getting promoted so important to I want to show my kids that. or, you know, I want to be able to have the flexibility of that position to take care of my family or my parents or, you know, whatever. And so the reason that’s important is because one, it allows the goal to change like that surface level goal, because even like with weight loss, like you might actually not lose weight, but because you’re losing fat, gaining muscle, et cetera, like the weight may not fluctuate the way you think it does, but you’re happy. You actually met the goal. Same thing. It may not be the promotion. It might be a different position or it might be entrepreneurship or it might be something else that’s actually going to satisfy the drive, the motivation. That’s not a surface level goal that you really drilling down.

Speaker #0
I think having your why and really focusing on that why. I mean, when I work with my clients is that’s the thing that’s going to keep you moving ahead. right, when things feel like. I’m not into this anymore. I don’t want to like, you know, that it’s that to keep that why you’re doing it. But I love that, like honing in on like the five whys and to get really, really, very specific and clear rather than when it starts to sound like I’m going to a wedding and I need to lose 20 pounds. That’s not enough of a, that’s usually not enough of a motivation to, or maybe you’ll lose the weight, you know, and then you’ll. Yeah, right. And then what? Or you’ll gain it back afterwards because you’ve done something drastic. But yeah, to really focus in on a very specific thing, maybe it has to do with your kids, your family, something so important to you that it will keep you moving forward. Yeah, I love that.

Speaker #1
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, that’s one of my favorite exercises. And then I also always start clients with the wheel of life, which, and there’s kind of a, the exercise is not. directly my website but then the visual of the wheel and it shows the eight dimensions of all being which include physical mental you know emotional better that way they can kind of rate where they’re at you know on a scale of zero to ten for each dimension and then if you look at it and so say like one is in you know no one should it’s every time in this that’s totally common and normal and fine, right? Like 10 is, you know, perfection is not where we’re going here. Right. But like, could we get you from a five to a seven? Could we get, so it’s say you’re a seven and one and a four and another and a three. So if you imagine this like wonky, you know, uneven wheel, then I, then the question is how, if that was a real wheel, how well would it roll? And then that’s kind of like, oh yeah. So to well, to, to wheel well. you want them at least as even as possible, right? How do we inflate that tire where it needs to be inflated? But that also shows, helps us see the interconnectedness of these various elements, which brings us to our earlier conversation of how everything is interconnected.

Speaker #0
Yeah, I love the wheel of life. I think it gives such, especially if you’re a visual person, it gives such a good graphic of, oh, wow, I’m really, deficient in my social life or whatever it is, you know, whatever, wherever you can see it. And I think it’s a really great way to then.focus on what you can work on rather than I have to work on everything. I think that people are really falling into like a lot of burnout. Like what is burnout? Like really, is it, is it burnout with trying to balance all of this stuff and then constantly failing because work-life balance is really like a meaningless term?

Speaker #1
Yeah. I mean, so we could get like really scholarly here for a second, which I won’t do. you can But I will say like burnout technically is just the workplace experience. There is a push for it to be like, no, like mom’s, dad’s, the parent, even if they don’t quote work outside the home, they can experience parent burnout. Right. So there’s a push to make it more of just this, you know, the kind of the street talk definition of it where it’s like, oh my God, I’m exhausted. I’m stressed and burnout.

Speaker #0
Mm hmm.

Speaker #1
But. Technically burnout is when you experience three things simultaneously for an extended period of time. And that includes cynicism. So you’re starting to go like, let’s put down this job. It’s like, take this job and shut it. Like, why am I here? I’m not very good. You start doubting yourself. I’m not even good at this anymore. Like, why am I even bothering? And exhaustion. And it’s an extreme stress response. So if you’re stressed, If you don’t take care of that chronic negative stress, then you will get burnt out. And then that can lead to mental health issues, physical health issues, you know, in bed for whatever, however many days, you just, you just can’t. Interestingly, some people though, when they’re burnt out, they go harder. The way burnout affects you can actually make you, like you don’t even realize it. So you’re like, I’m so burnt out. I don’t, you know, you don’t even realize it. And you’re going like zero to a hundred. And that’s actually one of the problems too, is that because you don’t recognize it, it almost becomes this like adrenaline thing and you just keep going oh yeah that as opposed to like when you’re like like saying you have the flu right it’s like nope can’t today can’t adult today i got the flu you know you just physically can’t like the opposite happens and so it’s harder for your for you to step in and you’re being overcome so it really does start to take outside people to say like hey i think there’s a problem well here resting i mean especially for women i I mean,

Speaker #0
resting is… How dare you say that? Like, I need a day off where I’m just feeling like I need a mental health day or, and I should be all the things I should be doing to the point of like collapse almost sometimes it’s the bag of honor. I mean, at least, you know, with, I think with career and motherhood and, you know, like all of that lumped in together and yeah. And due to a lot of burnout. I mean, that reminds me of just being on diets too. I mean, you know, like there’s a whole cycle of burnout on diets. I mean, there’s only so much you can take of being on, you know, you can top it out for 30 days on a diet, you lose some weight, but then you can go into total burnout with it because you feel like you can’t keep it up. It’s impossible to maintain. And then you’re, you know, I should be able to stick with this. And then it’s just impossible. And then you get like, you know, you’re like mentally exhausted physically.

Speaker #1
Mentally, physically and emotionally. Yeah. And the same is true for exercise too, right? Like you can, you can burn yourself out and get an exercise addiction, right? It’s, I think the, you know, to your point of like, what is causing this? What is contributing this? I mean, the causes is multifactorial, you know, I don’t want to try to say like, what is the primary cause for somebody? But generally speaking, this living in extremes. And I wanted to say to you, I think it’s important that people refill themselves in different ways. So I don’t want someone to hear this and think like, but I don’t, I’m not a nap person, for example. Like I don’t, and most of the time I’m not either, right? Like my most, like, I think I’ve had like one or two naps this year and that was like strategically done because I was doing a podcast in Australia. Right. So like I purposefully was trying to make sure I didn’t like lose all my sleep so I could function the next day.

Speaker #0
Right.

Speaker #1
But like I’m not a nap person. And so it doesn’t mean like you have to avoid burnout. You have to quit your life and go move into a yurt or you have to like nap. And the opposite of doing is nothing. It just means like if the way you refill is taking a walk or doing a walking meditation or exercise in like a filthy way. Right. that is self-care too. It doesn’t have to be just all or nothing, which is to our point about this, this extremes. Cause even just sitting around doing absolutely nothing, that could be an extreme. And so I don’t like, that’s not what we mean. And so you have to find the self-care practice that works for you. As long as it truly is self-care.

Speaker #0
Yes, exactly. I mean, I think asking yourself every day, what do I need today? What do I need? Where is my energy at? Where is my focus going to be? And wrapping it around self-care. Because if we get ourselves into the chronic burnout, and I want to relate this just even back to food and diets, but what do I need for my nourishment today? You know what, because sometimes it’s breakfast, lunch and dinner, and sometimes it’s breakfast, lunch, dinner and two snacks, you know, and it’s okay. You know, it doesn’t mean every day is going to be breakfast, lunch, dinner, two snacks and dessert. I mean, you know, it’s just just checking in, I think, with, you know, what do I need for myself today?

Speaker #1
Yes, I love that so much. It reminds me of the metaphor with bamboo, like the reason bamboo. was resilient and thrives is because it’s not too rigid and it’s not too flexible, right? It’s, it’s rigid enough to, or it’s strong enough to grow, grow straight, grow strong, but it’s flexible enough to bend with the wind. And I just, I love that so much because I feel like that’s what we need to be. And you know, that we need to role model for ourselves and others is like, okay, for the most part, I got my plan. Right. But it’s loose. Like I can, you know, what I can throw what the day throws at me, right? Going back to that Susan Jeffers quote, whatever happens, I’ll handle it.

Speaker #0
Rachel, thank you so much. This has been a fantastic talk. And I know we’ve covered a lot. We’ve talked about your story, just, you know, and your foundation around like diets and eating and eating disorders and how that’s maybe fallen, you know, into your work with one-on-one with women who are mostly single. And then, and I think this has been like really important. information and it’s going to be great for my listeners, but where can people find you and how do you work with women one-on-one or you work with men too? I mean, I don’t want to,

Speaker #1
I can’t primarily women, but anybody that feels a connection reach out to me because I always do is a complimentary discovery call. And if I’m the right fit for you, great. If I’m not the right fit for you, I have a really wonderful referral network and I can help you. I will help you the best I can for that person. So if… If you’re curious, just feel free to reach out and we’ll go from there. I think the easiest is my website. It’s reachfame.com and everything, you know, free resources, the link to schedule, all my socials, it’s all on the website.

Speaker #0
Okay. And I will definitely put that link in my show notes. So people can reach you that way. Is there any other takeaways, any last things, you know, you can think of just to tell women or even if you want to.

Speaker #1
Because anyone, I think, so this is true for anyone. I think the most important thing that I hope my clients kind of discover or realize is that rather than an all or nothing approach, take an all or something approach. So if you can’t, you may not be able to get the whole workout in, or you may not be able to meal prep for every day or whatever, right? But you could do a couple minutes. You could do one or two, right? So when in doubt, like, don’t just throw the whole thing out. Just do. a little bit. A little is better than nothing.

Speaker #0
I love that. And yeah, I think to remember that, especially women, that we are doing our best, right? We are just always doing the best that we can and that matters for everything, but not too great. We don’t need to go to extremes. And it doesn’t mean that if you just do a little bit one day that you’re going to fail and you’re never going to be able to catch up. Exactly.

Speaker #1
By taking that down, by dialing it down, you’ll be able to dial it back up to you.

Speaker #0
Exactly. Right. Right. And if we dial it too far, then that’s where you get into burnout and you don’t want to do it again.

Speaker #1
Exactly.

Speaker #0
Well, Rachel, thank you so much. This has been fantastic. And I will speak to you soon.

Speaker #1
Sounds great. Thanks, Heather.

Speaker #0
And as always, if you loved this podcast, please consider gifting me with a… five-star review. It is so helpful for me to get the word out on real eating, our real bodies, and real food stories. Thank you so much and have a great week. Bye for now.