Overcoming Emotional Eating: Erin Smith’s Journey to Self-Acceptance and Nourishment in Midlife Nutrition

What if the key to overcoming emotional eating lies not in strict diets but in embracing self-acceptance and nourishment? Join host Heather Carey in this enlightening episode of Real Food Stories as she welcomes Erin Smith, the inspiring founder of What We Crave and a leading expert on emotional eating. Together, they embark on a heartfelt journey through Erin’s personal struggles with food, revealing how childhood experiences and societal pressures shaped her relationship with eating.

Erin candidly shares her transformative path from battling emotional eating and relentless dieting to discovering the profound importance of self-kindness and awareness. As they explore the intricate connections between stress and eating habits, listeners will gain invaluable insights into how emotional triggers can lead to comfort eating, often masking deeper needs. Erin’s story serves as a powerful reminder that true healing comes from understanding our emotional ties to food rather than merely adhering to diet protocols.

This episode is packed with nutrition advice and healthy eating tips, encouraging listeners to reflect on their personal food journeys and the influences that shape their food beliefs. Erin emphasizes the significance of self-care in overcoming emotional eating, highlighting that nurturing our emotional needs is just as vital as physical nourishment. As they discuss the challenges of women’s health, including menopause health and midlife nutrition, Erin’s insights resonate deeply with women navigating these transitions.

Listeners will discover practical strategies for mindful eating practices and cooking techniques that promote a healthy lifestyle, while also debunking common weight loss myths and food fads. With a focus on culinary wellness and sustainable eating, this conversation invites you to explore the rich tapestry of food and culture, encouraging a compassionate approach to food and lifestyle choices.

Whether you’re seeking to understand your relationship with food or looking for inspiration to embrace your own personal food stories, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom. Join Heather and Erin as they illuminate the path to overcoming food confusion and cultivating a life filled with abundance and joy. Tune in and take the first step towards honoring your emotional needs alongside your journey to health!

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Transcript:

Speaker #0
Well, hello, everybody, and welcome back. And if you are just tuning in with me for the very first time, it’s so nice to meet you. And I’m really glad you’re here with me today. I am your host, Heather Carey, nutritionist, chef, mom, and a woman who has been around the block with food. I want to open up about real food in relation to health, weight, and our bodies so you can make peace with what you eat. I sat down today with Erin Smith, who is the founder, producer, and host of What We Crave, the emotional eating summit. And Erin has spent a lot of her life contending with emotional eating. So we had a lot in common and a lot to talk about. Erin really opened up about her story around emotional eating, diets, cravings.

Speaker #1
and how she finally made peace with her body, body image, cravings, what she eats, and just overall peace with food. So take a listen. This is a really great interview.

Speaker #0
Welcome, Erin. I’m so happy to have you here today on the Real Food Stories podcast. I want to just give a little introduction into who you are and why you’re here speaking with us today. So Aaron Smith, also known as thathealthchick on Instagram, is an avid health and fitness fanatic who has been expertly trained in health optimization for over 15 years and has worked with the world-leading health experts such as Dr. Zach Bush, Dr. Christine Schaffner, Mark Groves, and other high-level health experts. Aaron is also the founder, producer, and host of What We Crave, the emotional eating summit. After 30 years of struggling with emotional eating, food addiction, and shame of fasting, Erin became obsessed with understanding the root cause of what it is that we are really craving. And she’s on fire about cultivating real, beautiful, honest conversations that provide roadmaps to healing and how to make peace with food and ultimately yourself. So that sounds exactly like what I talk about on my podcast. So it was so nice to find you and meet you and have a conversation previously with you. And I would love to just start out hearing about your story and how you got into all of this and your realization about emotional eating and everything. So your story around food and dieting. And so why don’t we just jump in and tell me about you.

Speaker #1
Awesome. Thanks. Hello. Thank you for having me. I know when I met you, we just absolutely jammed because we had so much, so many, so many things that we just could so relate to. And so I’m really grateful to be here with you and your audience because, man, we just, there’s so, there’s so much that goes deeper than the food, you know, and that’s where What We Crave was born because, you know, like you, we’ve had these, you know, expert trained, you know, nutrition and diet, detox, gut health. You know, I’ve been in the health space for so long and I knew all of the protocols on how to get somebody healthy and how to, you know, I could, I’ve learned so many things, so many things and, and tried many different diets, just tried all the things and learned from all the doctors. And you would think I would know a thing or two, right? Learning from all these experts. I mean, I could tell you a protocol for everything. And The interesting thing is I was missing a big piece of the pie. No pun intended there, but I was missing a big piece, which was looking at myself, my emotions, my connection to myself, the emotional health of myself. I was missing a lot and it led to a big, fat, just mess of just emotional quicksand, yuck, rock bottom of… in my life. And the beautiful thing is it led me to what we crave. And I’m so grateful because those rock bottoms are what gets us, I think, to our purpose and turns our life around. If we’re willing to listen to that shoulder tap. And I got tapped hard. I really got smacked with like a cosmic two by four. I feel like, you know, with a life, life keeps hitting you up and down, just keeps on tapping. You’re like, Hey girl, you got, you got. got to look at some things here. And I wasn’t, I wasn’t willing to look at them because I thought I knew it all, you know? And so it was very humbling experience for me to put this on. And I’m like, if I’m struggling with this, I know there’s gotta be tons of women that are struggling with this too. Cause I’m the miss health chick and I know it all. And I’m still in the, I put on the most weight I’ve ever put on. I’m the most miserable I’ve ever looked like just energetically, I looked like just a mess, just a stressed out wreck. wasn’t sleeping. Wasn’t I just, my whole body was, I, I, I knew all the things, but yet it wasn’t, it wasn’t reflecting. And I knew something was wrong. And I, and that’s when I was, I said, I’m doing something about this. I’m just going to put on a summit. I’m going to talk to all the experts I know in my field about what the hell is this blackout moment effort thing. And why am I eating all the food when I know better and I’m still doing it? Like, what is it? You know? And And that is where… I am now, it’s such a better place, such a better place. And I will go into the, all the details, but my story starts out childhood. My story starts out just like all of us where we grow up learning and seeing things. And then it ties into a whole cascade of events that lead us to these sort of rock bottoms.

Speaker #0
So why don’t we just go back to your story just growing up? because I know that a lot of us, our beliefs around food, eating, our weight, our body image really get defined when we are younger. I certainly have my own story around food, which I shamelessly share with people. So why don’t you just, just, yeah, go back to that point and tell me how you grew up with food and body image and all of those things.

Speaker #1
Yeah. Well, for me, it was a little different because I was actually this scrawny kid, the gangly kid that could not put on weight. So I, my dad and I played basketball and volleyball, and my dad was really wanting to bulk me up to put some meat on my bones because I could be the dream basketball player that he wanted me to be. And I was stretching for, and my body was just a late bloomer. I was so skinny. I could not gain weight. I, all I want to do was just put on some muscle and put get some boobs and look like the other girls in high school. So I was, I had gangly teeth. I had needed, I had braces twice. I mean, I was the latest, latest bloomer and I grew up eating as much as I could all the time. I grew up just shoveling food in. There wasn’t a moment where I wasn’t eating. So I wired my brain at a very young age to eat all the things so that I could look normal and put on weight. So I had this mentality of, I can’t gain weight so I can eat whatever I want, but also I can’t gain weight. So I have to. I have to literally eat food all the time. So it was an interesting dynamic in my head. And growing up, my parents didn’t have a lot of money. So it was mac and cheese and hot dogs and burritos. And my mom made it all from home, but fast food was a luxury. If I got fast food at the burger shop up the street, that was like a luxury. So I definitely grew up with more of a scarcity mindset around food. And when my mom would go to the store or go to Costco, load up on, you know, red vines and Costco muffins and cereal, the big things of cereal. It was just like, oh, hell yeah. Like just food. And just, you know, that was like rich kid food, like, Lunchables was a rich kid food. Right. Um, and so you can see, you can start to see some things building here. Um, and so I was always hungry and you wonder why, cause I was eating mostly processed food and, but I was also playing basketball and trying to put on weight. So my dad would go. On top of that, he would eat, feed me, you know, hamburgers and milkshakes and just, just literal, just processed food all day and couldn’t gain a pound. Finally, when I got to high school, graduated from high school, finally started to fill out and my body started to just finally put on meat, quote unquote, is what my dad would say. And then I kept eating that same way. So I kept eating the processed crap. I kept eating all the things. And then I gained the freshman 20 and then the freshman 30. and the freshmen, whatever, into college. And I went up to a size 12. Um, just granted, I was in the gym working out and lifting weights, but, and playing basketball and doing all the things, but I just thought I was filling out, you know? And I’m like, Oh, I’m, I’m wearing Abercrombie jeans size 12 now. Oh, I got a booty now. Cool. And then I remember seeing myself like a photo of myself. I’m like, Oh, that’s just normal, you know? And I can keep eating everything that I want because grand size 12 is not like, it’s not like I’m, you know. It just, I wasn’t a size zero and I thought I was just filling out. And then kept eating that way in college and would eat, you know, just the guy that I liked, we’d go out to lunch and we’d eat pizza and cinnamon rolls. And I just didn’t, I just had no idea. You know, I would have two caramel macchiatos a day because I was a nanny. I was making all kinds of money. So that was like, I’m rich now. I’m gonna have whatever I want. And I was so unaware of just, I was just eating food all the time, all the time. And then I really gained quite a bit of weight, even though I was working out. So I, you know, I stayed around size 12 ish, but I gained a lot of weight, but I still, because of my height, I could kind of carry it well, because when you’re tall, you know, it doesn’t, it just, you can carry weight more. So I didn’t, again, I didn’t know. I just thought I was filling out. Then I, then there was a point where I moved to California and I was like, oh, if you, or no, I fell in love with a guy in college. if you fall if you fall in love with a hot man in college and you, you know, you start like you’re in college, you start looking at girls. Oh, they’re in shape. What do they do? Oh, they eat salads. So I’m like, Oh, I want to look good for this guy. So I started eating salads. I lost weight, ate salad, like start. That was my nutrition course. Like, Oh, salads equals weight loss. Then I moved to California and then it was, Oh my gosh, I need to lose more weight because all these women are in really good shape. And I’m going to try the South beach diet. So I went from overeating to under eating to overeating. You can see the patterns here of just… Not eating real food, caloric restriction, processed food, snacky food, removing fats, removing all the things tried, you know, just all, just, I tried everything as we all do trying to figure it out and fast forwarding got super into health. You know, 10 years later, my thirties went very extreme, lost my period for a year. So overworking, overworking out, no fat. My trainer was like, Yeah. You need about five, five grams to 20 grams a day of fat, which that’ll lose. I mean, I lost my period. I, I was a stressed out wreck. I had, I, I just, I had anxiety. I couldn’t even think straight. I was at adrenal fatigue. This is doing two workouts a day with, you know, no fat and a sauna and yoga and beach sprints and beach volleyball on the weekends and the spin class. So you, you talk about extremes. I’m the queen of extreme. That should be my, that should be my, my Instagram name. Then I discovered keto because I was so deficient in fat. I discovered keto, my whole, all the lights turned on. My whole body was like, thank you for giving me what I need. So I started binge eating on keto because I was so deficient in fat. I started just eating all everything keto while it’s healthy and it’s organic. I got really into, into health and started working for health companies and health products and started learning all these protocols and oh, well, keto, keto is healthy and it’s organic. So… I can eat all the things. So I started numbing my stress for being a, I was a commission sales rep, started numbing my stress with keto food and did another swing, gained all the weight back on and then some. So I was, you know, there’s pictures I could show you before and after it was just up and down these, these swings. And I was so stressed out and I was so unaware of my stress. I just kept numbing with food and I would fast it off because I knew about fasting. So I developed this sort of shame fasting where I would fast off all the weight and then I’d put it back on because I’d get stressed again. I literally was in the worst place in my life from a stressed out standpoint. I worked for a narcissist, just absolutely stressed out, working 20 hours a day, not ever taking a day off for multiple years. Yet I was the most educated in health protocols. And yet I was the worst. That was my rock bottom. And it just in the worst, worst physical, energetic, just stressed out mess. And you see some of the pictures in my thirties. I look older in my thirties than I do. And I’m 41 now. I’ll be 42 actually next week. And I look better than I do now because of the stress, you know, it’s just insane. So I hit, you want to talk about every single area of life of hitting the, that rock. bottom and trying to figure it out on my own, that was me. And then I said, I’m so tired of this. I’m going to put on a summit because I got to get to the bottom of this because I keep eating all the food and it’s healthy food and I’m binging and I’m gaining weight and I know better and I’m still doing it. And I didn’t even realize I was numbing out with food because I didn’t realize this was a crutch. Healthy food was a crutch. It made me completely unaware that I…

Speaker #0
But it wasn’t really healthy. I mean, it was… it was marketed as healthy food, right? Keto and everything. So let me just ask you a question. I just want, I’m just so curious because I’m, I’m, I’m hearing your story and for so many women, their dieting story starts when they’re younger, but yours seems to have started later post-college almost, right? I mean, you were, because you were encouraged to gain weight. As a child, right? And then you started slowly gaining weight. And then maybe you’re, you know, getting, you’re just gaining more and more weight and like eating all the things and everything. How are your, I’m just curious, how are your parents with you? You know, when you were then starting to gain weight? I mean, I have a very solid story with my mother and my father, you know, and how they influenced me to encourage me to be on diets when I was. you know, from like 11 years old on how I’m just curious, how are your parents just back then? And then I want to, I, you know, I want to hear about your summit and everything. You know what I mean? I want to hear about all of this. It’s like, it was really the impetus. All of this was the impetus for you getting into what you do now, but tell me just about how that was just with your family. If you were starting to gain weight, would they have gotten. judgmental, you know, because you weren’t starting to gain weight. Like, were they getting judgmental or was there any judgment around there with like family and parents?

Speaker #1
Yeah. You know, when I was really gaining weight in college, I never, I never, my parents never said one thing to me ever. there was a lot of love there. My mom, she’s like, I love you no matter, you know, she never ever made a comment about my diet. My dad definitely made a comment about my mom’s weight when I was little. That was, that was earliest memories. I remember my dad looked. My mom was dishing up food and my dad would look over my mom and just kind of stare at her food and be like, are you going to eat that? Like, you shouldn’t be eating that. You know, so I did see a little bit of it. And I did see my mom. My grandma was always like, oh, I’m just going to have a little piece, just a little piece. You know, just I’m just, oh, just a little, just a little, you know. And my mom, my mom went on not Weight Watchers, but oh, my gosh. Nutra was it not Nutrisystem. Nutrisystem. Nutrisystem. I saw her go on Nutrisystem. And she lost so much weight and was miserable, starving, miserable, but it was for my sister’s wedding. And she was set on that. So there’s a little bit of dieting, but for me, I just, I was eating all the things. So it didn’t matter. I was like, great mom, you look great. Awesome. But I’m trying to gain weight. So it definitely, definitely wasn’t the issue. I think the issue was that I would wired my brain at a young age to always eat and always eating when I was stressed out. So my mom, this was, this is what I learned. My mom, who’s Italian. I had a bad day. She’d be like, let’s make some brownies. What do you want? You want some red vines? What do you want, honey? She would soothe me with food. So it’s more like, how can we soothe with food versus restrict? It was, let’s just put all the food in your face and not out of, out of love and out of just being a mom, you know? And so I got, I got trained, eat, eat, eat, and then eat some more. And then when you’re stressed out, eat some more. And you can see how the wiring of her emotional eating would come into play down the road. Yeah,

Speaker #0
definitely. Yeah. Yes, exactly. When you are always right, right. When you have a parent saying, you’re having a bad day, honey, you know, like, let’s get a, let’s get a cookie or let’s go, right. Let’s, let’s make a pot of, you know, I mean, a pan of brownies, like, right. It’s, then you start attaching food equals comfort and food equals, then yeah, it’s going to make it all better. So you said, so you were saying before that, you know, you knew a lot about healthy eating, but you were just getting yourself more and more into like trouble. right per se and and you mentioned you’re on the keto diet and relying on that and but you before that you weren’t getting your period because you were just on you know a variety of different diets which I think I started to say before that right keto these these diets are marketed very heavily as healthy diets right as healthy this is like and Thank you. you know, you start to feel like, well, should I be on the keto diet? Should I be eating that way? Like, you know, if I’m not eating that way, is there something wrong with me? Is there something, you know, and so tell me just a little bit more about this diet mentality and how you started adopting that because you weren’t on diets, you know, you didn’t have a history as younger being on diets. So how did you start adopting this, you know, these these kind of extreme diets equaled healthy eating.

Speaker #1
Yeah, it was really, well, when you moved to California and all the women are in shape, you want to do what they’re doing, right? You’re like, okay, what are you doing? And my girlfriends were trying every diet from vegan to raw food to whatever, because we all worked in the health space. So we’re like, we know about all these diets. Oh, let’s try them all. You know what? Maybe this one will work for me. You know? So it was always, how do we lose weight and look our best in our early, early thirties, right? But really what happened was… you know, we were all trying different diets. I got really, I lost a lot of weight, lost a lot of muscle, going vegan, lost my period, all those things. But when it came to keto, because I was so malnourished and had no fat in my diet, my body was like, thank you. It gave me my fat back and my whole, my brain could turn on, I could function. And then I, and then I took that to an extreme of, instead of just adding fat into my diet, I went, oh my God, now I can eat all this fat and not gain weight. Cause everyone says keto doesn’t make you fat. Fat doesn’t make you fat. Yes, it does. If you are… what I was doing was these keto snacky diet, um, which was eating all the keto cookies and the keto ice cream and the keto this and the keto that, where it was just an insane amount of fat. And my, my gut couldn’t digest that much fat. I had these bulletproof bars full of cashews and, and, MCT, I would have four of those a day. They were like healthy, healthy candy bars. And I, if you do keto, like, I think there’s a time and a place for keto when it comes to cancer. A lot of the doctors use it for cancer, but you do keto. the right way, which is, you know, you reduce your amount of sugar because with cancer, you can’t have sugar and you’ve, you know, replace it with fat, but it’s not like the type of binge eating that I was doing. It’s completely different protocol. I just took it as, oh, I can eat all the fat. So now I can just numb out with food and not even be just, I get to eat whatever I want and handle my stress with food. And I’m so happy because now I can binge eat all of this healthy food. So for me, that’s what happened to me was I just used it as a crutch um to numb out and not be aware of what was really happening, which was a lot of deeper, deeper things with boundaries, self-love, self-worth, and then the list goes on and on. Yeah.

Speaker #0
Right. Yeah. I mean, when I went to my master’s degree in nutrition, the keto diet was a medical diet, not so much for cancer, but for epilepsy. It was a medical diet. No one considered going on that diet for weight loss. or anything other for any other health reasons and that’s I think how it became so popular is that people realize that you could put yourself into ketosis and you know your body your brain thinks it’s starving you’re going to lose weight and

Speaker #1
it’s personally yeah it’s just kind of rye yeah keto the keto yes you can definitely take it the wrong way I mean I I did um I definitely got myself in a ketosis. I did some fasting and just trying around with the protocols. Right. So I was experimental, but then I used it. That’s when I took it. Like it wasn’t just for my health. It was like, let’s eat all the things and I don’t have to care about anything. And yeah, it was, I was just at such a stressful point in my life where that was the soother. That was the reward. That was, you’ve worked really fricking hard. Go, go eat all anything you want because you deserve it because you’re going through a lot right now. And, um, didn’t pay attention to anything else. Yeah.

Speaker #0
It sounds like that was, you mentioned your bottom, right? You’re like in this phase with the keto diet and everything and just getting all the way. Tell me what, tell me what happened after that. And then I just want to know how did you start to get yourself unstuck, you know, and out of that and realize that this isn’t working.

Speaker #1
Yeah. Oh man. You know, what’s funny is some of my friends remember when I was going through this, I saw the weight gain. I mean, I was… 30, 40 pounds overweight. And for someone who’s tall, you know, it’s, it’s definitely noticeable that what really, what they noticed the most was my gut. I look like I was nine months pregnant sometimes because the rethritol and those keto snacks would bloat your gut up. I had SIBO because I was eating dairy again, which my body is not digest dairy. So I was adding the dairy back in, which will have caused major gut issues and inflammation if you can’t digest it. Plus the rethritol snacks. So everyone was noticing I was going, I looked puffy and inflamed. I just looked. I just look stressed out and inflamed. And I remember they look back, they’re like, God, you look so much less stressed now. And I wanted to tell you something back then, but I just, I didn’t want to say anything. So I didn’t want to upset you. And I was like, no, I’m so glad you didn’t tell me anything because I needed to go through this on my own. This was my rock bottoms were there for a reason. And this, I needed that. I needed to get to where I needed to get to be where I’m supposed to be. And so I truly was grateful that no one said anything. But my rock bottom, I remember was, I just, I had this, had never, I mean, I was working until 4am just to get this stupid thing done for my boss. It just put it on my lap last minute. I remember going, okay, I can do it. Yeah, no problem. Cause I don’t have any kids or a husband yet. So I’ll just do it. And I remember going, what am I doing? I just, I’m like, look, I remember I took a screenshot of my face. It was so stressed out and puffy and miserable. and Like you have completely lost yourself because you can’t stand up to your boss. You can’t say no. You’re working way too hard for what? Like, what is this all worth? Like just really had to take a deep dive on why I was doing this to myself. I finally became aware. People kept talking about awareness. I finally became aware that something was wrong. And I just. I remember going, I gotta, I gotta get out of California. I gotta do, I gotta literally make some drastic changes. And right at that time where I finally said, I’m done with this. I gotta figure this out. I was, my lease was up. My sister was having a baby and I remember That was my moment. I remember time slowed down and it was, you need to get back into the mountains and the lakes, get into nature, get out of this toxic job, go be near your nephews, go be near your sister, snuggle, sleep, rest, and just get out of this toxic mess. And that’s when I came back home. Perfect timing. As always, everything always works out. Had a window, literally couldn’t have left California faster, drove home and just started. sleeping and nourishing. I went from eating out every day to whole food, to cooking at home, sleeping, resting, moving, getting rid of toxic relationships in work and life. And that’s where things started to shift, where I just focused on, I just, I got to unplug and get back to me and taking some baby steps, which we’ll get into with the summit, but just really taking baby steps. it wasn’t a big shift. It was like we’ve talked about before. It was little steps of just, I got to be better to myself. And I don’t know, I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I just know I need to start sleeping and I need to just unplug from the toxic, crazy rat race. So that’s how I started.

Speaker #0
Yeah. I mean, that’s, that’s, you know, we talk about the food and everything and dieting and all of that. And that’s probably walked you into like, you know, a crazy situation, but That’s so important that you recognized the stress component, your sleep, your rest. I mean, that you need to be cooking more, not eating the snacks with all the, you know, the erythritol and like all of those, you know, things that are just making you feel awful, moving and just being your family. And that all of those are equally as important. I mean, that’s the self-kindness. I mean, it sounds like you really had a calling to make a… a huge change for the sake of your health and your wellbeing.

Speaker #1
Yeah. I remember my friend said, you know, I was like, I’m going to figure it out on my own. She’s like, how’s that been working for you? And I go, Oh, it’s not, I gotta, I gotta, I can’t figure this out on my own. No podcast. It wasn’t, I was trying to find the answers outside myself and I had to turn it back on myself and go, all right, let’s start at ground zero. What do I need baseline?

Speaker #0
Yeah, that sounds like really true self-care and that’s nice. So besides all of that self-care and moving and everything, tell me about a little bit more about your shift in the way you were eating or how you’re looking at food. And because you were in this, it sounds like a whirlwind sort of the keto stuff and you knew you weren’t feeling well, how did you get unstuck from that? And tell me about your first… steps into just recognizing that you needed to eat a real more like whole foods, you know, diet that sometimes sounds simpler than it is, right? Because I know that I can just tell my clients, just eat, you know, just eat a lot of vegetables and, and some really good for you proteins and healthy fats and, and whole grains or, you know, starchy vegetables. And you you know, people when you’ve been used to being on, then you, you had been on a couple like diet, you know, pretty big diets for a couple of years. How do you ease out of that and learn how to eat better?

Speaker #1
Yeah. Well, the timing of this, that’s right when I put on the summit. So I started learning about self-care and nourishment.

Speaker #0
Um, but really I remember just through conversations and just taking deep walks outside, I remember going, someone said, eat whole food. I’m like, could it really be that easy? Like, maybe I don’t need so much fat in my diet. Maybe I just need like some fat, but not like gobs of it every day. Maybe I don’t need to be eating 20 protein, cacao, peanut butter balls every day. And maybe I don’t need four bulletproof bars a day. Maybe I just, maybe I’m, I’m keep munching on this stuff because it’s not nourishing. And maybe that one girl that said eat whole food was right. And I just remember intuitively, I got quiet enough to start really listening to myself going, I heard that one time. It was like a little ping. Like maybe I should try that. Maybe if I cook from home and I just use olive oil and just, I know what’s in the food, maybe that’ll help decrease inflammation. And because I heard inflammation, all weight gain is just inflammation in your, in your body. So like, maybe I can just try that. And I remember just It was like the ultimate release of no calorie counting. Let’s just try eating like a nourishing whole food meal with some fat. And because you’re here, there’s not where I was at in Coraline, Idaho. There’s not a lot of restaurants. So you had to cook from home. So it was like this beautiful divine little gift of you can’t eat out anymore. You have to cook from home. So I was sort of forced to, and I, and then I was like, Oh my God, this is so nourishing and healing. I love this. And that’s what we talked about on, on my interview with you is. cooking is therapy. And I just started playing like jazz music and slowing down. I lit some candles, had a glass of like organic wine and started cooking. Like, oh my God, I love this because I didn’t have that growing up. My mom was just, let’s make something real quick. She didn’t understand cooking. It was just, how can I get my family fed for under $5? And, you know, so just a complete shift of just getting quiet enough to go, oh, I’m going to try this. And it wasn’t, yeah, no calorie restriction at all. Just. kindness.

Speaker #1
Yeah. And if you didn’t grow up with your mom, I mean, it sounds like she had a motive. She needed to save money and get food quickly on the table, right? Or maybe you didn’t have your grandmother cook. I mean, if you didn’t learn how to cook when you were younger, it’s not like we’re born with the skill, right? And we’re not born with knowing that like food is nourishing, especially when you’ve been on diets. Women, especially, I think just get really disconnected. from getting into their kitchens. We’ve talked about this. I think a lot of women have fear around cooking and not measuring up or not, you know, not doing it correctly. And so let’s leave it to someone else in order to take out. I mean, it just, that can just start to spiral. So yeah. And we have to learn that food is nourishment. Food is great. Cooking at home and cooking your own food and being in control of your food. knowing exactly what’s in it then, right? You mentioned the oils and everything, then you know exactly what you’re putting into your body and, you know, helping yourself. So it’s, yeah, it becomes really important. It’s a really important part of healthy eating and healing.

Speaker #0
Yeah. It’s so simple. I thought it was so, it had to be harder than that. I really did for all the knowledge I had, all the protocols, I thought it’s gotta be harder than that. And then I remember going, maybe it isn’t. Let me try it. And here we are. And it’s just the most beautiful discovery when you finally get there and you have that first meal that’s so nourishing and delicious. And you made a recipe, you went to the store and you got the organic spices and the salmon and you took the time to just create a beautiful meal. And then you actually feel nourished for the first time. I remember going, oh my God, there is something to this whole food thing. And there’s something in this cooking thing. Oh my God. It was just, it was like the heavens parted and the sun was like shining down on me for the first time. Like I figured it out. Yeah,

Speaker #1
exactly. Yeah, it is. And when you make, right, you create something good and then it tastes good. Like, oh, this is so right. It’s so kind to your body and just nourishing for your soul even.

Speaker #0
And you don’t have a desire to go binge eat after that. You’re like, I’m nourished. Oh my God. I’m like, my body’s good. Yeah, can you…

Speaker #1
Yeah, you’ve gotten all the nutrients you need, right? I think that’s part of this emotional eating and craving, I think, is when we’re not getting all of the things that we need, we’re constantly looking, you know, physically looking for something else. And I think that’s what keeps us physically hungry. But I want to talk about also the emotional part, because you did mention that you were kind of getting into some emotional eating and cravings. And that was… getting you into some trouble, you know, so tell me about your just history with emotional eating and how that has, you know, just unfolded for you.

Speaker #0
Well, I’ve, it’s always been my go-to. I mean, ever since I was little, I remember just soothing with food. And so, you know, from the stories I’ve already told you, it’s, it’s just been my go-to. Some people have, you know, shopping, alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever. It was, it was always food for me, food and shopping, you know? And I noticed when my emotional eating was at the worst. Actually, I interviewed Tricia Nelson on this. When my emotional eating was at the worst, so was my spending habits, my finances, my debt got the highest that it had ever been. So I started noticing when it got really bad that I was just constantly looking to soothe and make myself feel instantly better outside of myself. So without, like it just had its tentacles. It has tentacles into every other area in your life, I noticed. And then when I started getting myself out. of that emotional eating shit storm, if I can say that, you know, my debt got better and I started looking at other areas in my life. I really started to take inventory, which is what Trisha talked about is you don’t have an eating problem. You have a living problem. And when she told me that I was like, Oh, that one hit home, like a ton of bricks to my soul.

Speaker #1
I’m like,

Speaker #0
that’s me because I wasn’t the emotional eating would get out of control when I was too stressed to not have self-respect for myself and my boundaries, my self-care, putting everybody else first, but me putting everything last that I needed in my life. I would always do that last. And I would always check my email at 6 AM and go back to my boss. And then, Oh, Oh, now we’re having a team meeting. And yep, I can be on that instead of going to the gym or yoga. I can be on that. Oh yeah, you need that. Yeah, I can do that. And just, I was completely disconnected from myself. So the, the more I became disconnected from myself and the more stress I took on and the more the less boundaries I had, the more I would shovel the food in to soothe and to just feel something. Cause I was so numb. I remember I’d have to go to the East coast once a week from West coast to East coast once a week, that time change that three hour time changing. I mean, I try and get up at that’s getting up at 4.00 AM Pacific time when it’s 7.00 AM Eastern time, your sleep, your hormones, everything gets whacked. And then you’re working 20 hours a day, sitting all day in a high visceral, high just… stressed out to the max every second where you’re just, you have, you know, your whole neck is red and you’re like, you can feel pins and needles for 20 hours a day. That’s when the emotional eating was out of control because I just, I had no boundaries and I could not say no. And I put myself last and I was living out of airports and planes and hotel rooms and no hugs, no love, wasn’t dating anyone, no connection. I noticed that was, that was, that was a perfect recipe for just shoveling in food. Cause I, I just, I had to feel something and stuff my emotions and feel just some type of soothing. Cause I, you know, I would go to the spin class, but I obviously that just create more hunger and more issues. And, but you know, that was the only thing I had to just connect to myself or feel something and to stuff the stress that I was. Yeah.

Speaker #1
Going to a spin class is probably like not right. Not as a. soothing and comforting as eating you know that was my punishment right and like you said you know your mom that was her way of right helping if you were having a bad day or you know she would make a pan of brownies or you know something like that so i know emotional eating can be complicated you know and but but if when you start learning about it and recognizing it then you can start to unravel it and heal from it and then figure out when you are hungry, when you are physically hungry. And that’s when you really need to honor your hunger with food when you’re physically hungry or, you know, versus emotional eating, which can, right. We want to try to soothe ourselves in different ways. And that starts with, you know, the self-kindness. And it sounds like you were really doing that. You started though, like in response to all of this, you were called to start your summit called What We Crave, right? The Emotional Eating Summit. Tell me more about that. How did that, how did that come to you as an idea?

Speaker #0
Yeah. You know, it was so, it was so, it was such a meditation, like download. I can’t explain it other than that. I just remember going, what the hell is up with this effort moment? What is this? what is this? I keep having it for years. I’ve had this. I’m figuring this shit out. I was just like, I’m getting to the bottom of this. It was out of my own obsession and just frustration. you know, it’s something deeper than the food. Like, what are we really craving? And that’s, it just all kind of came together in this beautiful way. And I’m, and we launched it right at the beginning of COVID, not knowing that it was going to be the worst epidemic of emotional eating of all time. I mean, you saw the COVID 20 people, all the memes about going to the fridge and like, I’m bored, I’m snacking, I’m baking. That’s right when we launched it. So I knew it was meant to be. My soul was like, this is my moment right here for all my purpose and all the crap I went through is to help get this out. And then I just kept filming interviews from there. But it was really what is underneath this in every single way from mental. I knew that health is mind, body, spirit, you know, mental, physical, emotional. It’s gut. It’s toxins. It’s nature. There’s so many to truly be healthy from the inside out, a very vibrant health. You can’t just look at your diet. You have to look at so many other things. So I knew. that it was other things, but I didn’t know exactly what. So I just went on a deep dive interviewing experts on every single thing that could lead to emotional eating, whether that’s nutritional deficiencies, stress, self-care, boundaries, whatever it is. I went on a deep dive to figure it all out. And I just thought if I could just present this to women and give them every single story, every single expert in every category, I know something will resonate with their soul like it did with me. And they can just. do one thing like I did, just do one thing, like start getting sleep or just do one thing to get yourself in the right direction and just learn all the tools. Cause once you have the tools and you have the awareness, you know, Oh my God, like you said on our interview, you said, is it physical hunger or emotional hunger? And that was such a beautiful way. I love how you said that, that it’s no, I’m emotionally hungry for something. It’s not, I’m not physically hungry. This is emotional hunger. And what is it? What are the, what is underneath that emotional hunger? What do you need? And everybody’s different. No, it doesn’t, there’s no, let me give you the protocol. It’s no, it’s, you got to go inward and really give yourself what you need. And that’s different for everybody. So that the summit just offers every single conversation and story about what it could be. Yeah.

Speaker #1
Yeah. I think the, I think you’re absolutely right. The awareness. I mean, just that’s the first important step is just having the awareness that I’ve got a thing. Every time I’m having a bad day, I want to go and eat a pint of ice cream. And I do it without even thought, you know, and then just aware that, you know, like, my, my emotional triggers are like making, you know, are causing me to eat. And it’s not just about you. It’s it’s goes deeper than, well, when you’re having a bad day, just go do something else. I mean, we have to really like get underneath that. and figure it out, right? And I think that’s where diets, just normal eating versus diets, that’s where they just separate because diets just tell you what to eat for a certain amount of time, just follow these rules. And they don’t ever take into consideration, I have emotions, my sleep, all of the other things. tied around it. It just tells you, follow my rules. And then they kick you to the curb.

Speaker #0
Yep. And if I can just add to that, it’s so beautiful that you said that it’s like, we want to Amazon prime our, our, our figuring stuff out. Cause now we can get everything at a button. Everything’s at our fingertips. We want to, we want to Uber eats are everything and we can’t. And it is, that is what you and I love talking about is this culture of dieting is missing. They’re not looking at stress levels, sleep, your emotional trauma, your physical trauma. If you just went through a divorce, if you just lost your dog, if you, you know, if like, they’re not looking at every other area in life that is vital. They’re not, they’re not, no one talks about emotions because you can’t see it and you can’t measure it. So, and it is the most powerful thing over any diet is the emotional component to, to health. Like no one. you rarely see people talking about emotions. Now I feel like it’s starting to make a rise, but most of the time in modern media, today’s media, Instagram, it’s tell me the diet and the calories. And you wonder why people get stuck in the cycle because they’re not addressing the deeper issues. Yeah.

Speaker #1
Yeah. No, I mean, diets do not address being mindful, paying attention to your food, your hunger, your fullness, you know, it’s just telling you just follow my, my rules. And that’s it. And it’s, and we know right now that there’s so much more that goes into healthy eating, losing weight, just being your healthiest, your most energetic. It’s not, it’s just not possible when it’s. you’re just following a diet.

Speaker #0
Yeah.

Speaker #1
It’s impossible.

Speaker #0
It’s a huge missing piece. And I’m so glad this is why I love talking to you because you’re bringing this to light that you have to look at it just if not more than what’s on your plate, you have to look at what’s not on your plate. All the other, the emotional plate. Yeah.

Speaker #1
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So with, so with the summit, I mean, it’s, that sounds like it was a real journey and an ongoing journey. If you had to pick like one or two, like of the most important things you’ve learned from. this journey and reaching out to all of these health professionals and, you know, or what the takeaways from that, you know, from hosting your summit.

Speaker #0
Yeah. There are so many, so many, I will, I’ll mention a few, the probably the ones that are most connected to your audience. The, um, I honestly think sleep is the gateway because if you don’t sleep, it doesn’t matter how mindful you are. It doesn’t matter what’s on your plate. you are a wreck because you’re sleep deprived. You can’t burn fat. You can’t digest food. Your cortisol is high. it sleep effects is the one thing that affects everything in the positive or in the negative direction. If you start getting sleep, you get 10 X benefits from weight loss to reduce cravings, to being able to burn fat, to, and I mean, just the list of benefits is insane. And I remember one of my practitioners told me, girl, if you would just sleep. If you would just focus on your sleep, you would lose weight more than actually working out. Like you can, this is a, but you won’t, you won’t just rest. And I was in that YOLO, you sleep when you die, I’m going to go live life. And when I started sleeping, I mean, my hunger, like all the hunger cues, I was not hungry. I could lose weight. My stress levels were down. Cravings were down. I mean, it was the game changer was just sleeping. If there is one hack that does it all, it is sleep. And I know that sounds too easy, but please trust me on this.

Speaker #1
I mean, sleep is vital. And I think the more that time goes on, the more research that’s being done on sleep. Also, I mean, it affects everything. I mean, and I agree, it does affect your weight, your cravings, your hunger. You know, it’s really, and we are not getting enough sleep, especially women in midlife. and older, you know, with hormones and everything, our sleep just gets disrupted. And so it’s, it’s really important to keep that as a high priority.

Speaker #0
So, and being okay with resting, if you don’t get a good night’s sleep and for some reason the dog wakes you up and you got to get up, take a nap in the middle of the day. I remember I would never nap. I would be like, I have too much to do. I just, I can’t, I have to work. I have to work out and it would wreck my whole day versus if I just slept an hour that I’m… Hey, I’m worth it. I can take an, even if it’s a nap in my car, I’m going to take a nap because I will function a million times better. And my eating habits will be completely different. So I, it was a big piece of it was self-worth to go. I am going to sleep for an hour. Sorry, boss. I’m going to take a nap. I’ll finish my work later tonight, but whatever. I’m just going to take a nap and just honoring my needs before I would never do that. I’d be like, Oh, I stayed up till 4am working on a project just because you asked me to.

Speaker #1
Yeah.

Speaker #0
So it’s, it’s the self-worth and the boundaries that’s in the self-love. That’s, that’s the, I think the next few, the, the, the deeper things that are, are underneath that I noticed when I started showing up for myself and having more boundaries with, I’m going to go to the gym first and then I’ll do my work. I’m going to, when I am stressed out and I need a break, I’m going to go take a walk. I’m going to get into nature. So it was just honoring myself and the self-care because I grew up, my mom didn’t have any self-care practices. It was always sacrifice everything for the kids. So that’s what I learned. And when I started to integrate self-care, somehow magically all my work got done. I could bet. It’s like you can bend time when you do self-care first, you can bend time. It’s crazy. And I was, I’d be so stressed out. And then I go, oh my God, I got everything done. Even with the walk, even with the nap. This is amazing. I’m going to keep doing it. It’s like, again, life starts showing up for you when you start showing up for yourself.

Speaker #1
Well, we could do a whole podcast on just self-care and the, and the. and the beliefs that women have around that being selfish and, you know, and sleep deprivation and busyness as a badge of honor, you know, as we are, we are wired to take care of others first and a second. And it, right. It kicks us in the ass. I mean, it just do, have you practicing your self care first is the most productive thing you could actually do, but we see it, we see it backwards.

Speaker #0
I know. And it’s, it takes a lot of, it took me a lot of interviews to get there to really rewire. That’s the cool thing about the summit. When you’re listening to all these interviews, they just kind of automatically starts rewiring your brain to start believing something different. Cause you start hearing all of the stories of women who have said the same thing. And then your brain goes, Oh, there’s some, there’s some truth to this. Okay. I’m going to start trying that. So that’s a benefit of re-listening to all of it over and over again. Um, so doing the interviews, that’s what happened to my brain. So I was very grateful for that. Yeah.

Speaker #1
So I’m just curious, is there, you know, you’re, as you’ve gotten on now, you know, and you’re getting a little older and everything, is there anything that still challenges you? Like, do you feel like just, you know, with your journey of emotional eating and, and just getting yourself healthier? Anything, you know, because I think we, you know, this is not a perfect science, right? It’s not just like, I’m going to take these three supplements and eat this and then like, boom, done. Like, I mean, there’s, especially when we, you know, for me, like just getting into midlife. hormones and everything. So anything that,

Speaker #0
that challenges you that you feel like. I, there’s a few things that come to mind. Yeah. There’s a few things that come to mind. One, um, I recently had a breakup with two of my best, best friends, um, unexpected breakup. We just split ways for, from a conversation we had that kind of erupted and I wanted to go emotionally. I remember going. I still got some work to do. I wanted to soothe. I wanted to comfort. And I’m not saying I’m perfect by any means. I’ve gotten a thousand times better because I know my tools now. But I remember I had so much anxiety and just like a visceral response. And I was like, oh my gosh, it’s happening again. And I went right to all my tools and I was like, okay, I need to go for a walk. I need to go into yoga. But first there is a yummy paleo donut in the fridge and I ate the paleo donut. And I remember having some, oh, you shouldn’t reach for that. And, you know, and being harsh on myself. And then I go, you know what? No, I’m okay. I’m going to have the donut. I’m going to sit and cry for a minute. I’m going to hang out. I’m gonna make a phone call and I’m going to go to yoga. And it all, when you get triggered, it is actually triggers are the teachers of where we got some healing work to do. So if anything that I have noticed this year is I’ve done a lot of inner work, really looking at every single trigger that’s popped up in my life. And I honor those triggers now. And instead of pushing them away, I really take a magnifying glass and go, okay, I start journaling. What is going on with this trigger? What is it bringing up from my childhood? And I think for me, when that happened with my friendship, Um, I had the moment of wanting to soothe and I honored it and I did, but then I also went to my journal. I made a coaching call. I got on the phone and I’m, and I said, what is this pulling up in me that I need to actually work on? Cause we could point the fingers all day at my friend was such a bitch and just, they said this and the divisiveness of the state of the world and And oh my gosh, everything. There’s so much hatred. And I remember wanting to point the finger at my friends, like you guys did this. And then I went, nope, I got to look at myself. Like, what is it in me that’s triggering me this bad? So I think what I learned is that triggers are our greatest teachers and to honor them instead of stuffing them, go honor them and dig into what is happening. And it’s okay. If you fall off the wagon, give yourself some grace, eat the donut, then go take care of yourself, you know?

Speaker #1
Yeah. But it sounds like you did it with, I mean, that’s. That sounds like a big, that’s big and very emotional to have a breakup with a good friend. And right, you can feel once you have the awareness, right? It like automatically triggers, you know, like, where’s the donut? Like, you know, like, I know that I can feel that way sometimes too. You’re like, it just, it’s like so hardwired in my brain sometimes. But doing it with awareness and it’s okay to have the donut, right? It’s perfectly okay. But you did it with awareness. And then also implemented some other tools. So I think that, I mean, those are, that’s, I think a great takeaway for my audience and just, you know, women in general is that it’s okay. We’re not, we’re not in this to do it perfectly. Right. This is progress, not perfection. Right. So it’s, we’re just, you know, really always on our journey and we take it, you know, one instance at a time.

Speaker #0
Yeah. And I think I did have a little bit of shame around, oh, I’m this emotional eating expert. It should never happen. And then I told myself, hold on a second. I’m still human. But like you said, at least I have the awareness. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the, like, I had the donut and then I went up and wiped my tears off my face. And then I went and took care of myself and got the, the, the emotion that was stuffed in my body that was visceral, triggering me, the anxiety. I went and moved, moved it. I grabbed it. I went in my tool bag and I’ve started pulling out my tools. And so that’s, I think the biggest thing is know your tool, but know what you need in those, in those moments. know exactly what your soul needs. It doesn’t, isn’t necessarily related to the food, but it can help move the emotions out and then go back and look at that trigger as a way of what can I do? Because I swear they are the, that when you start looking at those triggers and as teachers, it can totally change your life in so many ways. I’ve noticed that’s been a huge shift in whether that’s relationships, finances, a career. you start pulling up those triggers and dealing and healing them and just looking at them and giving them the love that you needed as a kid and rewiring your brain, man, it is life up level for sure.

Speaker #1
Yeah. And sometimes it can feel like we’re taking like three steps backwards and here I am emotionally eating again, but you’re really not right. You’re just, you’re, you’re, you are aware and that’s, and that’s the most important thing. Well, Aaron, this has been an amazing conversation and I’m, So happy that we had the time to just talk. I just love this conversation. So tell me, yeah, how can people find you and learn more about your summit, which I’m sure everyone’s going to want to be listening to.

Speaker #0
Thank you. Thank you for having me. You and I instantly just connected with, we just so resonate with this. So an hour goes by way too fast. And… Yeah. I hope, I hope there was some, some stuff in there that really helped your audience. I really try to give as much value as I can, but there’s so much more to, to say, as you know, there’s just the tip of the iceberg, but yeah, if you go to what we crave.com, that is the website just to put your name on the list, to get notified when the summit comes out. Cause I’m, I’m adding more interviews and rebranding it right now. And so once it launches, you get notified to watch it. It’s for, it’s free. So it just goes through an email system and you get notified and then you can. It’ll when it’s ready to be released, which hopefully should be in a few months and you can watch it. And then we also I also have some clips on my Instagram and on YouTube. But the full summit, like 50 interviews is including yours, which I’m excited about, will be in there. And that’s where they can go. And there’s, you know, if they at that health check my Instagram, there’s some clips on my stories of just clips of the interviews you can watch. But there’s at least probably an hour worth of clips there.

Speaker #1
OK, well, I will definitely put all of those your links in the show notes. So everyone can access that way. And yeah, I think that we need to have another interview maybe about, we have so much to talk about. I feel like we could talk for hours. Yeah,

Speaker #0
I know. Anytime you want to jam, you know I’m down. Yeah,

Speaker #1
we definitely will. So thank you so much. I really just appreciate this and appreciate your being so open about your story, everything, that’s just… It’s really important. I think that we get our stories out. So women don’t feel so alone.

Speaker #0
A hundred percent. And it’s, I will tell you, it is, was so healing for me just to even speak my story. I noticed that was, if you notice that as well, as you tell your story, how healing it is to just speak it to somebody. It is so healing. So I highly recommend, you know, that this summit, I really wanted people to feel like, like this, this. you tell me your story and how healing it is to hear other people’s stories. So that’s what I’m all about. So thank you for putting this out in the world because that’s, I think you and I link arms in that way where we just want to help women in the stories or what is what’s so healing.

Speaker #1
Sure. And thank you as well. No, I think you’re doing great work just by you’re hosting your summit and just getting the word out. So thanks so much.

Speaker #0
Thank you, Heather.

Speaker #1
And as always, if you loved this podcast, please consider gifting me with a five-star review. It is so helpful for me to get the word out on real eating, our real bodies, and real food stories. Thank you so much and have a great week. Bye for now.