Empowering Women in Midlife: Laura Broom’s Three Steps to Resilience and Joy Amidst Change

What if the toughest challenges of your life could lead you to a place of unimaginable strength and joy? Join host Heather Carey in this deeply moving episode of Real Food Stories as she talks with Laura Broom, a resilience coach and author of the upcoming book “Flourishing After Adversity. ” Laura’s journey through midlife has been anything but easy, facing four life-altering challenges in just five years, including a battle with breast cancer, the heartbreaking loss of her teenage son to suicide, a heart transplant, and a sudden divorce after 27 years of marriage. Through these trials, she developed the transformative “I Cope to Hope” three-step resilience framework, designed to empower individuals to embrace change and rediscover joy amidst adversity.

This episode dives into the heart of midlife resilience, highlighting the importance of coping strategies, gratitude, and the power of focusing on what we can control. Laura’s story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and serves as an inspiring reminder that resilience can be cultivated, even in the face of overwhelming grief and change. Heather and Laura explore essential themes such as personal growth, the inevitability of change, and the significance of surrounding oneself with positivity and support—crucial elements for women navigating midlife transitions.

Listeners will find invaluable insights into midlife nutrition and wellness, as Laura shares her personal food journey and the role of healthy eating in her recovery process. As a culinary nutritionist, Heather adds her expertise, offering practical nutrition advice and healthy eating tips that resonate with women experiencing menopause health challenges. From the Mediterranean diet insights to mindful eating practices, this episode is packed with actionable advice that empowers women to nourish their bodies and embrace their midlife changes with confidence.

As Laura’s book release approaches in December 2023, she provides a sneak peek into her action plan for thriving after hardship, making this episode a must-listen for anyone seeking to transform their relationship with food, health, and self-care. Whether you’re interested in overcoming food confusion, exploring diet myths, or simply looking for inspiration in your own weight loss journey, this conversation will leave you feeling uplifted and motivated. Tune in to discover how vulnerability can be a strength, and how the journey through grief can lead to a flourishing life filled with purpose and joy.

Join us on this empowering episode of Real Food Stories, where we celebrate resilience, healthy lifestyle choices, and the journey of women 40+ navigating the complexities of midlife. Let Laura’s incredible story inspire you to find hope and strength in your own challenges, and remember—you’re not alone on this journey.

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Transcript:

Speaker #0
Well, hello, everybody, and welcome back. And if you are just tuning in with me for the very first time, it’s so nice to meet you. And I’m really glad you’re here with me today. I am your host, Heather Carey, nutritionist, chef, mom, and a woman who has been around the block with food. I want to open up about real food in relation to health, weight, and our bodies so you can make peace with what you eat. Hi everybody and welcome back to the Real Food Stories podcast. Today I have Laura Broom with me. Laura is a resilience coach who helps individuals who are overwhelmed by adversity to transform their pain into purpose and flourish in life. By overcoming four very impactful life changing events in a five-year period, Laura learned how to transform pain into purpose and rediscover joy. She created the I Cope to Hope three-step resilience framework to help others achieve positive growth by embracing change, finding new purpose, and rediscovering joy. She is also the author of the soon-to-be-published Flourishing After Adversity, a three-step action plan to transform pain into purpose and embrace joy again. Coming out in December of 2023.

Speaker #1
Yes. Yes. In a couple of weeks.

Speaker #0
Great. Most importantly, though, Laura serves as living proof of the extraordinary capacity to overcome challenges and illuminate a path toward a brighter future. So welcome, Laura. I’m so happy to have you here. And it’s really nice to have you. And I’m looking forward to sharing your story. And I know that others are going to want to hear your story and how I was also just curious. After you share your story, how you define adversity, because I know that we’re all individuals, so we all have our own definitions of what adversity is. And let’s just start with you and jump in and hear a little bit about your story.

Speaker #1
Thank you. I really appreciate being here and sharing my message of hope. And so a little bit about me is. I have been through four life-changing events over a five-year period. And, that included, um, going through breast cancer, the loss of my teenage son to suicide, a heart transplant and a sudden divorce after 27 years of marriage. And, so that’s, that is a lot. to handle in such a short amount of time. But I had a lot of self-reflection and really had to go through and process all those emotions because my breast cancer and the loss of my son happened at the same time. And then four years later, I had the heart transplant. And then a month after getting home from the heart transplant is when I found out about my divorce. And so, you know, not only did COVID, it was happening at that same time, and everybody was adjusting to that, but I also had those two additional life events happen. And it was really, in 2020, going through the divorce, Right after the heart transplant, that was the lowest I think I’ve ever been. I thought the lowest was when my son died, but just those two events, because I had a successful heart transplant. And so I was so excited about my life, the quality of my life getting better. But then being told, you know, my husband doesn’t want to be with me anymore. And so that was really life changing. But it was through all these adversities, and that really can be any type of loss we experience, loss of a loved one, loss of our health, loss of financial situation, loss of a job. It’s feeling that sense of grief and being able to process those emotions. And so. going through my divorce. I chose to go back to our marriage counselor, but for individual counseling and because she already had our history. So I didn’t have to rehash that to somebody new. And she really helped me to she really helped me come to the conclusion. Do I want to do I just after I well, actually, I got to the anger stage and. I thought I was angry at my husband, but I realized I was angry at myself. I was angry at him, but my counselor helped me deal with that. But then I realized I’m really angry at myself because he made a choice to move on with his life and I needed to make that choice to stay bitter or choose to be better and move on with my life. And so that’s what I chose to do. And I started looking at what can I do? Because COVID shut a lot of my options down. And so I had to distinguish what was out of my control and just put that aside for the time being and focused on what was in my control. And just every day I would say, what can I do today? I just looked at it as baby steps. And so that’s kind of how I moved on and started. realizing that my life was not as bad as I thought it was. And that led me to, you know, gratitude and appreciating the good things that I could find in that day. And that just started to start the progression of moving on.

Speaker #0
You’ve had some really unimaginable adversity, loss, grief, some of it. you know, is as a mother too, it’s hard for me to imagine how you must have felt and, and how you recover from a loss like that, not to mention then health issues. And I mean, you just had a lot going on in one time. I mean, that is a certain type of person. So I’m curious how do you distinguish between, you know, because I think so many other people might have absolutely just fallen apart and your resilience is really, I’m in awe of it, you know, and, and so what distinguishes people who can go down one path like you did and really hold, you know, grasp onto like that resilience piece. And then other people who just fall apart, because I know a lot of women, for example, who might need to lose five pounds or they just don’t want to get older. And that’s their level of adversity. You know, like they almost like that to like something that you’re going through, you’ve gone through. So how how does how does one become your type of resilient? Because it’s really I mean, it’s just so. admirable or I’m just, I’m really in awe of it.

Speaker #1
Well, thank you. It’s, you know, that’s a good question because if you told me I would go through this, you know, seven years ago, I would say, no, not me. I couldn’t deal with all that. And I think it’s really, I mean, I wouldn’t recommend And anybody. having to go through such big life events at once, but it just happened. And one of the things that helped me is just over my lifetime, I’ve always been inspired by people who have overcome challenges, you know, big or small. And because it’s like, why, how did, how did they do that? How did they overcome something? And they look like. their life is normally. And if you met me on the street, you’d never know what I’ve been through. Because I think the key is accepting it and, and, and finding that, finding those hidden strengths within you, you know, prior to all these events that have happened, you know, over That happened when I was 55, when everything kind of started. But prior to that, I had my ups and downs, just like everybody. We think that when we make a decision, you’re going to get to point A to point B in a linear fashion. But that never is the case. I mean, it might be for some things. But overall, we have to be aware that change is going to happen. You know, I like to say. you know, three things, there’s always three things in life you can count on, and that’s death and taxes, of course, and change. I mean, change is constant. And when we look at change as something bad or a disruption or, you know, especially when it’s unexpected, it can turn our life into, you know, whirlwind. And so I think it starts really with that. mindset, things are going to happen. You don’t know when it’s going to happen, but by having coping strategies and resilience tools, that will make the journey easier. And then it becomes, you know, I thought going through breast cancer, because that was completely unexpected. And my husband had just started a new company. And so I was diagnosed with breast cancer three years into it. And so I had to deal with all that stuff. How do I keep continue with the day-to-day operations and, you know, delegating some duties so that I can have a little bit of break. And so I learned to become a problem solver. And that’s something that I like to let people know. in order to handle change, one of the best things you can do is start looking at what’s in your control. You always have your thoughts, your words, and your actions, and then add in resources. So, you know, it’s because we don’t have control over other people. We don’t have control over external circumstances. And so you become creative in what you do have control over. And, you know, it’s like. Take an inventory of your personal assets, your skills, your talents, your passions, your character strengths, and then what kind of resources are available to you. There’s people that you know, your support system, or just people that you could network who know people or know of resources, the internet. But, you know, you just start thinking, what are you? things in the community, organizations in the community, and you put any one of those combinations together, you can pretty much solve any challenge that is within your control. And so that gives you hope because you have options. And to me, that is the most comforting thing when you’re going through a tough situation is having those options to choose from. So like, for instance, you know, when I, when I see, if I’m going through a change or a disruption, I can handle that because I’ve had practice. I’ve had a lot of practice. And, but I’ll tell you one exception I have, and this is why I love listening to your podcast, is I had a four-year gap between the breast cancer. and my son passing away and my heart transplant. Well, during that four year period, my heart had deteriorated, which is a story in itself, but all I could basically do, my heart was really just, like I said, deteriorating and it was becoming very difficult to breathe. So I sat around a lot and I comforted myself with food. That was my comfort. And which is not good because when you’re going through chemo, it messes with your taste buds. And and so when you’re an emotional eater, what do you do? Well, that didn’t comfort me. I need to eat something else to taste good. And so being sedentary, I put on a lot of weight and my muscles got soft. And so. when I had the heart transplant, it was wonderful knowing that I can breathe again, but my body is kind of like, um, job of the head, you know, I’m just, I just feel like I’m a blob. So now I have to, I have to use those resilience skills as coping skills. to help me move more because two things I don’t like to do when I don’t like to use the word exercise. So I use move and it’s because I don’t like exertion and I don’t like to sweat. So, but so I tell myself, okay, Laura, so what can you do? Well, there’s a lot of things I can do. I can go walk. I can do low impact, you know. arm movements. I mean, there’s so many things that I can do when I think about it. So it’s like, just start small, take those baby steps, start five minutes a day. And when you feel like that’s easy, bump up, add a couple of minutes or, you know, just vary it up. So I have to coach myself sometimes because I, you know, it’s like, it’s a bit, but it’s those coping, those coping strategies that help you. strengthen your resilience and give you a new perspective on when those disruptions come.

Speaker #0
Yeah. Well, I still feel like you were maybe like born with like resilience tools, like, because I mean, I know that you said you have to coach yourself, you know, a lot, you know, and I’m sure that has taken practice, but I want to just go back to what you said about change, you know, that there’s some things that just don’t, you know, death taxes and then just change. Change is inevitable.

Speaker #1
But right. Growth is optional.

Speaker #0
Yeah. I mean, but and change can make people full of fear. I mean, especially now I’m just thinking about the people that I serve, you know, just mostly women in midlife and everything. And talk about change. Like we’re going through lots and lots of change physically. Right. It’s just empty, nesting, whatever that, you know, a lot happening, like we’re going into the second half of life and we have to think about that. And what’s, you know, what the future and aging, you know, just, yes, there’s a lot of fear around that and a lot of, a lot of change. And some people don’t like change. I mean, I don’t know if I love change. You know, I mean, I know that it’s inevitable.

Speaker #1
Right.

Speaker #0
So how do you… Learn to just embrace change without it feeling like it’s a tidal wave coming at you.

Speaker #1
It’s really it’s changing your perspective of change. Change isn’t bad. Change can be good and change can put you on a different path than what you had in mind, your expectations. And I would say because I’m 61. years old and I started my life over at 58. I mean, literally started my life over. And I, so I would say, you know, I’ve been through menopause, um, empty nesters. I would say for, for empty nesters, this is my, this is my opinion, but I felt like when I was raising my, my sons, my job was to help them learn those life skills. to where they could go out and support themselves and, and, and, and I guess, you know, tackle life. I can’t, I can’t do everything for them because that’s not going to benefit them. And so, but I can be there as a support system. So when my son, my, my other son, he moved out, I guess he was about 2021. And I would always tell my boys that as soon as you move out and you can support yourself, I won’t give you any advice unless you ask me for it. And so, you know, because I knew what was going to happen when they move out. I did the same thing and my parents did the same thing. But, you know, you think, oh, I’m out on my own. I can do whatever I want. But then it’s like, no, now you have responsibilities. And so but that was my job. raising them is teaching them those life skills at home so they could do that so i don’t i don’t need to worry about them they’re going to have those hard knocks but but it’s going to make them a better person learning how to become resilient in life and and so the same thing with menopause i went through menopause during my when i started my chemo and um Fortunately for me, I went through warm flashes, not the hot flashes. I had an occasional hot flash. But, you know, it’s it’s it’s understanding. I guess it really it has to do with your expectations. If you. if your expectations are really unreasonable, you’re going to be disappointed the majority of the time. And so setting reasonable expectations, aging, that’s something that we’re going to go through. Some people age better than others. You know, I look at women who have had breast cancer. I’m not the only one. But I was the 1% who gained weight, you know, and um And I look at people, you know, it’s like, I guess the best thing is don’t compare yourself because everybody has a different journey to go on. And you can’t compare yourself to others. But you can, you can take as good of care as you possibly can for yourself and just try to be. better than you were yesterday or last week and make it, if you want to make it a competition, make it just to do better every day and to work on those good habits, eliminate the bad habits and start looking for the good in your day. Look for things, look for little things that bring you joy and make sure you’re doing those. That’s, we have to take care of ourselves. So what are things that bring you joy in life? Prior to my divorce, I became a workaholic. My son was out of the house. I just became a workaholic. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I developed a negative attitude. Sometimes I’d wake up and I’d say, my gosh, what kind of fresh hell am I going to experience today? And that was a miserable feeling. Now that I’ve kind of gone on the other side and I make, I make time for things that bring me joy. And I, I focus on the positive things in my life. And, and like I said, it’s a choice. I can choose to wake up in the morning and say, oh, it’s cloudy and drizzling outside. It’s going to just be a miserable day. And I will see every negative thing during my day. Because I have trained, I’ve told myself, this is how it’s going to be. I set that expectation. But if I say, oh, it’s drizzly outside, but it makes me feel kind of cozy. I’m going to have some hot chocolate or, you know, I’m going to do something. Then when you make that concerted effort to find the positive and be grateful for it, then because things can always be worse. And I’ll tell you. even at my lowest moments, they could have even been worse than that, but they weren’t. And I, I would tell myself, thank goodness they’re not. And, and, and so it’s little, um, like I said, they’re coping strategies to help you see the good. And, and also it has to do with your boundaries, the people you hang out with. Do you have those Debbie Downers? Do you have people who Thank you. complain, you know, about their life, but choose not to do anything about it. So you have to have those boundaries, healthy boundaries around you and know when to prune people, habits, places, prune those out of your life or, you know, keep them at bay.

Speaker #0
Yeah, I like the word boundaries and I have been practicing that a lot too. lately or maybe in the past like year or two. I don’t know if it’s, well, I think it’s my, my age. You know, I think that I’m at a point in my life that I’m like, if you’re no longer serving me, yeah, I don’t go over there, you know, and I want to be surrounded by people who build me up rather than knock me down. And so I think boundaries is a really important skill. Would you say having, keeping a gratitude list? It’s important because that’s another thing that I have been doing pretty regularly for a long time. And I know you can feel the difference, right? I think that, like you said, no matter how bad things might feel or be, right? I think having the gratitude list keeps things in perspective. Do you agree with that?

Speaker #1
Oh, I completely agree. I would tell people, you know, like I’ve had clients. Um, just, it’s like, I, I’m just, I’m, I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. And, and that to me is such a mood changer. And, and I, and I tell my clients. First thing is know what’s in your control and what’s out of your control, just as a general overview. And then start practicing that gratitude. And I like to tell my clients, just pick at the end of the day, just pick one to three things to get started with. What happened today that you’re grateful for? Or a person? Or you got off work on time? Just… one to three things at the end of the day, because that kind of helps you. I think it helps you sleep better because you just, you have something positive to go to sleep with. And then the next day, just try to add one or two more to the list and, and maybe start maybe, you know, halfway through the day or at lunchtime, just think of one to three things. And then again, And then start making a list like on your phone or something that you can refer to if you’re having a bad day. You want easy access to that. And just remind yourself because it is a mood changer. And you’ll get to the point where it’s not just the basics. At least I have a house or I’m inside and I’m not outside while it’s raining. And then you’ll start finding there’ll be a little smaller things. And it’s so small. I call them just like small pieces of joy that can help you. And then you’ll start looking when you’re having a bad day or, you know, you’re late for work or you’re late picking up your grandkids or something. It’s just to stop and go. It could be worse or, you know, what’s one thing, one positive thing in this situation? And it does become a habit. But you have to. be consistent. And I always say consistent baby steps, start small, but be consistent. Even if you just find one good thing for five days in a row, at least that’s consistent. And then something else will come. I don’t know. I just, when I am out and about and I hear people and I can just hear them talking to somebody else and whatever I kind of overhear, I can find one good thing of what they’re talking about. And it’s sometimes it’s so hard because I want to go, yes, it sounds like it’s bad, but you know, it could be worse or it could be that, but, but that’s because I’ve, I’ve had three years. I mean,

Speaker #0
you’ve had a lot of training years. I’ve had a lot of training, real life training.

Speaker #1
Yeah. Yeah. It can happen. And again, it goes back to a choice, just a choice.

Speaker #0
Yeah. I mean, back to the gratitude list, I think just even, I remember when I first started it and someone had said, don’t get caught up in the… The big giant gratitudes, you know, it could be anything from my hot cup of tea I have every morning or that I love to sit down with my journal and have my tea. And it could be as small as that. So don’t hesitate writing down anything that you just feel grateful for. And it really does help set the mood for the day. It really does make a huge difference.

Speaker #1
Yes. Yes. So, so those are two simple things, you know, that people can start today, you know, it’s just what’s in your control to move forward or what’s in your control to change and what’s something to be grateful for.

Speaker #0
Yeah. And I, I like that too, that in my, you know, what’s in my control and what’s out of my control, because I think a lot of women at least are, can we call them control freaks? Yes. I know. And I’m I’m working on mine, too. So I know this this this mindset of like what is in my control and what I cannot control other people.

Speaker #1
Yeah,

Speaker #0
I can’t control their decisions. I can’t control my children. Right. I can’t.

Speaker #1
Yes.

Speaker #0
That is out of my control. And in a way, that’s that’s a relief, you know, to feel like, hey, I don’t have to worry about you. anymore because you have your, you know, you’re responsible for you and I’m responsible for me and focusing just what’s in my control. And that’s mostly my stuff, right. To work on just me, you know, that’s in my control.

Speaker #1
Yes, I completely agree. And if everybody could do that, what a wonderful world we’d be in, you know, because by concentrating on what’s in your control,

Speaker #0
Probably 50% of the things you worry about and you stress over, it all goes away because you can’t change people. They have to want to change. But you can change yourself and you can change the way you react to it. And it’s not a switch you can just flip on and off. I mean, it requires practice and it just requires that acceptance. And I call it radical acceptance. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to, you know, approve of it, but you have to accept it. It is what it is and move on. And, and that’s really, that was the turning point when I was going through my divorce. I couldn’t understand a lot of things, but when I realized he’s moved on, so what am I going to do? I have to accept it. I don’t like it. Don’t approve of it, but it allowed me. to move forward with what was in my control. And that’s when everything started going uphill, but it was a conscious effort and an option, you know, that I had to make, no one else could make it for me. And, and sometimes, you know, I like to let people know adversity makes you bitter or better, and it’s your choice. I can’t choose for you. I couldn’t even tell you. I could tell you what I, in my opinion, what I think would be better for you. And that’s of course. Be better, you know, move forward. But it’s everybody has to make their own choices for themselves in their own time.

Speaker #1
I mean, it sounds like you went through a lot of adversity not so long ago. I mean, this is just a couple of years ago.

Speaker #0
Three years actually to the month. Oh,

Speaker #1
yeah. OK. I mean, I mean,

Speaker #0
like my divorce was final three months ago. Yeah. I mean, three years ago this month.

Speaker #1
So. I guess my question is, do you feel like there’s a timeline that people can have for like focusing on their adversity? I mean, do you think? Yes. I’m saying that. Yes.

Speaker #0
Yes. Yeah. And it’s everybody’s different. I mean, in my case, I like I like to joke around and say, you know, in my case, my comfort zone, I was thrown outside my comfort zone and the door was locked and I I couldn’t get in. So I didn’t have a choice. I had to move forward. I don’t wish that on anybody, you know, but I tell you, it does cut, you know, it makes a choice for you. But for people who are wanting change, you know, it’s going to get you out of your comfort zone. But that’s why I tell people just go for, you know, those small baby steps and just. concentrate on one thing, just do something. So you get that achievement, you get that, you build that confidence, you build that self-esteem. I did that. I can do this and, and, and, and, and do it. And if you don’t, you know, if it doesn’t work, that’s okay. You know, when, when you start developing growth mindset, it’s not success or failure. It’s, it’s success or just success is not yet. I’m still learning. And that gives you a little grace and because you’re going to, again, you know, it’s not a linear path when you’re overcoming hardship or you’re having to get outside your comfort zone because you’re going to have that fear. What if I fail? But what if you succeed? You know, and so just take small risks and you can even practice that on a daily basis. You know, like take something. you know, take something around your house and, and go, how can I repurpose this? How could I use this in a new way? And, you know, or take a, you know, if you like brain games or something, just take, like, take the word hope. How many words can I make out of hope? It’s starting to work that creativity side of your brain. And how can I, you know, just how can I do things in a different way? How can I find a different way to get to work, but still get to work on time? Or how can I load the dishwasher where it’s still efficient, but it gets the dishes clean? You know, it’s always constantly looking for another way of doing things because that way when an obstacle comes up or a disruption comes up, You’re wiring your brain to start thinking outside the box. How can, what do I have? How can I do? What knowledge, you know? What can I throw together real quick to solve this problem? And, but that, but it comes with practice, you know, and, and I think that’s the key. It doesn’t have to be difficult. It doesn’t have to be something you have to set a lot of time to do. Just as you’re going around your business, you know, you know, just whatever you’re doing, whatever, running errands or something, just, just look for some, a new way of doing something.

Speaker #1
Yeah, I think. I mean, those small steps, right? Then you realize you look back after a year and you’re like, wow, look at what I did. I mean, the small steps in the moment probably don’t feel like much, but I think after with consistency and just keep moving forward, you can see that you have made a lot of change. And I mean, I love this too, because I was just thinking about this the other day, actually, that what if… What if I fail at whatever fill in the blank and then turning that around to say, like, what if I succeed at it? And I I thought about that and I’ve heard that before. And I know the first time I ever heard that, I was like, what if I succeed? Because I because me, I’m sure so many people are just used to looking at the negative or the fear part of it just to get prepared. You know, just prepare yourself for the worst. But what if I succeeded? What if I actually did something and it made me really happy? It’s a really different way of looking at things.

Speaker #0
And if that doesn’t work for some people, because sometimes I’m like that, but what if I succeed? And then sometimes that fear will grab a hold of me. And honestly, I always say Nike has the best slogan. Just do it. When you start to think of something that you go. I don’t know if I want to, you know, try that. It’s really new. It gets me out of my comfort zone. I tell myself either do it, just do it. Don’t even think any more about it because that’s where the fear, the longer you think about it, the less likely you are to attempt it or try it. And, and, and I’ll give you a quick example of, of not doing things right the first time. Even with GPS, before we, you know, the cars and phones had GPS, I could get myself lost. And it used to be like, you could print the directions out, you know, and I would be driving and trying to follow them. And I thought when we got GPS, oh, this is going to be great. I won’t get lost. And I still, I very rarely, I mean, I just know, tell myself, I know you may not get there the correct way. I have a tendency to turn too soon because I’m terrible with distance. So two-tenths of a mile, I don’t know, that could be the next block for all I know. And so I was like, that’s okay. You’ll find a way there. And just over the years that I’ve done that, I never get to the same destination the same way. I have discovered so many other areas of San Antonio where I live now and even other places that I’ve lived. I’ve seen shops or restaurants or shortcuts because I know this street will intersect with that street and save me time. And it’s like so good things have come of those detours, you know, so just so you could apply that to anything in your life. It may not be what I plan, but, you know, don’t focus on that outcome. Sometimes we need to. But if you focus on the journey, maybe it takes you on a more scenic route, but you learn something that you wouldn’t know about. I was talking to a friend of mine online, and she lives in another state, and I have a friend in another country. And if my path had not taken me where I am today, I wouldn’t have a friend in Paris or New Zealand or all over the… the United States that I have met online. And I think how much richer my life is just, you know, yes, you know, the, the, the things that I’ve gone through, the hardships I’ve gone through were painful, but I’ve overcome those. And now I see the positive growth that I’ve experienced. And I, you know, people say, would you ever go back and do things differently? You know, you want to say, yes, I would, but. No, I, because it is who it’s made me who I am today. And, you know, and, and if I’ve found the, the process of overcoming hardship and I can find the joy, I want to help others discover the same thing because it’s wonderful on this side of adversity. You know, I’ve been able to find the gift and that sounds really odd, but. like I said, there’s always, you can always find one, at least one good thing from every hardship you’ve gone through. And, and the goal is find that one thing and see if you can find another thing. And, you know, so now rather than being buried in, you know, helping run a business where I’m working 60, 70 hours a week, you know, with my head in front of a, you know, in the computer. I’m able to meet new people. I’m able to share my story, give others hope. And I want them to realize too, that they can do the same thing with other people. We need to share our inspiring stories because that’s what I focused on. You know, somebody’s story of what they overcame was my survival guide when I was at my lowest. And so if we can share our stories and let other people know you’re not alone. You know, we don’t have to compare the degree of what we’ve been through, because that’s something that, you know, when people hear my shock and awe story, it’s like it’s not about so much. We’ve all experienced loss. We’ve all experienced hardship. But don’t focus on those details. But how can we help each other get over it? And how can we encourage each other? That’s not the. and of happiness, you know?

Speaker #1
Yeah. I don’t hear you saying your story to elicit shock and awe, you know, with people. But I think what I am hearing you saying is that because of your adversity, it got you into a career that you probably never imagined getting into, which is to be a resilience coach. So how did you get the idea to become you a coach who specializes in resilience and adversity. I mean, besides your, you know, your real life story, but how did it become an idea to have a business around it?

Speaker #0
Well, like I tell my clients too, you know, going through COVID, everything was shut down. I gave up my ownership in the business and I had to look at what am I going to do now? I’ve got a brand new heart. I’ve got a second chance at life. What do I do? I’ve got to earn a living. And, and so that’s just like I talked about, I kind of went through the same thing. What am I good at? What do I know? I know how to, I know how to run a business. I, you know, I can be an entrepreneur, you know, but what kind of business? Well, everybody tells me, you know, they can’t believe I just can bounce back after this stuff. And, and it’s like, That’s something that I love to share, you know, to help encourage others. If I can do it, I’m nobody special. I’m just an ordinary person who’s been through extraordinary things. But I found a way to overcome them. And if I can help others do that, then, yeah, sign me up, you know. And so that’s my superpower. And, and, and so that’s what I like to tell people, find your superpower and how can you use that to help others? Because it’s going to bring you joy. And it takes a focus off me, you know, because I’m, I’m not, it keeps me from going into a pity party. I did have those. I had them with each, you know, thing I went through. But when I go to help somebody else, it takes a focus on how that I have it and it encourages me to inspire them to help them get through things. So that’s kind of a long answer to a short question. How’d you get into it? But yeah.

Speaker #1
People get fall into careers and their life’s work really by accident sometimes. I mean, probably 25 years ago would never have imagined, you know, being where you are.

Speaker #0
No. And you, yeah. And, and, you know, cause my background is I started out in accounting and, and, you know, what are the most introverted, you know, analytical things I could be in. And, and it wasn’t until I started helping my husband with this business that I had become a problem solver and that, you know, I, I found the secret to that. And like I said, it’s really understanding what your superpowers are and your resources, and you can solve any problem because you have so many different ways of, you know, of creating a solution. And, and to me, that was the best thing that ever happened to me is learning how to make decisions and problem solve. And again, it goes back to that, what’s in my control, because if it’s not in my control, I can’t use that as a resource. to solve my problem. And, and so understanding that if there’s a problem, there’s a solution. And so that gives you hope that I’ll find a solution. It may not be what I want, but I may find a better way and it may lead me on a different path. So again, it’s that mindset of, you know, just being open and flexible and, and not having those limited beliefs or those limited thoughts. It’s success or failure, you know, cause fear is scary and it’ll keep you from doing things, but you have to decide, am I bigger than fear? Or is that fear going to be my demise? Cause when it’s keep get that FOMO, that fear of missing out, what does that fear not want me to experience? Because there’s something better out there. And that fear doesn’t want me to access that. So, you know, give your fear a name, you know, if it helps.

Speaker #1
Right. Yeah, Laura, you have been truly an inspiration and through all your adversity. I mean, just your story is really inspiring. So I really appreciate you sharing today. And how can people get in touch with you? How do you work with people? Do you do one on one work? Yes,

Speaker #0
yes. And they can go to my website. I cope to hope dot com. And that’s what the number two and it’s you can read more about my story. There’s a free weekly blog that I do and in a weekly newsletter. And I have a book coming out in a couple of weeks. And and that explains it is because I thought I never thought I’d write the book. But in trying to find ways of putting the… If I had had a manual when I was going through what I was going through three years ago, that’s what I was looking for. And I couldn’t find it. And I, you know, I don’t want to, it’s like, I need, I don’t need somebody to solve my problem, but I need somebody to tell me how do I move on after such tragic, you know, situation. And that’s what my book is. My book is a three-step action plan. And it goes into more detail about what I talked about, but it’s an action plan. And I wanted something that people could have to refer to. Maybe you don’t need it right now, but if something comes up, there’s action steps you can take. It’s an easy read. You know, I just wanted to get the information in more people’s hands, you know, and it worked for me. So the process, you know, I won’t solve your problems, but if you need somebody to help. guide, you know, I have information on my website, how we can work together. And my goal is to teach the framework, the saying, you know, give a man a fish, he eats for a day, feed him or teach a man how to fish, he eats for a lifetime. That’s the intention of my book in my process, my framework is I want to teach that to as many people so they can share that with others. and they can have a better life.

Speaker #1
Well, that sounds great. And it sounds like it can help people feel less alone, right?

Speaker #0
Yes.

Speaker #1
And that’s so important too. Well, Laura, thank you so much. I appreciate your time and telling your story today. And I will put those links in the show notes. And thank you again.

Speaker #0
Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.

Speaker #1
And as always, if you loved this podcast, please consider gifting me with a five-star review. It is so helpful for me to get the word out on real eating, our real bodies, and real food stories. Thank you so much and have a great week. Bye for now.