The holidays have come and gone, and I imagine that most of you feel a bit drained and melancholy.  Gone are the parties, the celebrations, the togetherness and here to stay are the dark days of winter, the few extra pounds you might have gained and the lull of the new found quiet.  Let’s not forget, though, the staunch resolutions we have made with ourselves.  The ones that vow to have us in the boot camp class six days a week or losing fifteen pounds by months end, with the help of the wacky five day juice fast you promised to do.

Before long, you will forget about the gym membership or the weight loss you reprimanded yourself for not achieving. Why?  Resolutions that have you cracking the whip on your own behind NEVER work.

Kindness and Comfort Bring Change

The real way to make lasting changes with yourself is through kindness and comfort. If that sounds as foreign to you as learning how to skydive, it might be because you have been programmed to believe that the only way to really get things done is to have a daily internal screaming match with yourself. But think about it. Does yelling and criticizing really work to make lasting changes? You were a child once and you might have children now.  Did it work for you back then?  We have enough anger in the world, please don’t add more to our own selves.  I promise, it doesn’t work in the long run.

Be Your Own Cheering Section

A constructive resolution would be to give yourself ultimate kindness.  To resolve to not be so hard on yourself for a change.  You can pick one or two things to start with.  Rather than saying to yourself that you must add more fruits and vegetables into your diet, start by trying one new fruit or vegetable each week for the next two months.  Start an art project you have always been curious about.  Go splurge on a beautiful journal to keep your thoughts in.  Pick a new outdoor hiking spot to explore each week.

Create New Habits

Once you start getting  into the habit of making small steps towards being kind to yourself, bigger things will fall into place. Your resolutions to stop eating sugar or focusing on the twenty pounds you need to lose might feel more doable.  You will learn to cheer yourself on, doing it all with loving kindness. You will soon see that there really is no other way. And you can finally lay the whip down.

What are some ways you can treat yourself kindly this year?  I would love to know. Keep the discussion going in the comments below.